At least not from a resent death.
Undercover journalist and a CIA member have discovered shocking evidence that proves that the pope did not die from an acute latex allergy. While posing as bishops and nuns, the journalist and CIA member infiltrated the Vatican and uncovered secret files revealing a well thought out conspiracy.
The body of the man thought to be the pope was actually that of an impostor. DNA tests show that he wasn't even Italian. The man had merely come from a costume party and was mistaken for the pope. His costume was an exact replicate of the pope's Sunday go to meeting robe. In value from over 600,000 dollars. The man was an oil tycoon and loved to mock the Catholic Church.
The real pope was found 3 weeks later in Cuba. He had forgotten where he was and had spent the entire 3 weeks walking aimlessly through the jungle chanting glacamolia, or whatever the talking in tongues language is called. He had wandered off at a benefit for homeless prostitutes with AIDS and couldn't be found by the authorities.
This, of course, is no brilliant conspiracy.
There are suspicions that the pope has been dead for 12 years. It's been kept such top secret that he himself isn't aware of his condition.
Doctors and engineers were able to remove his skin after his death and place it on a remote controlled android. Parts of his brain were placed inside a life support system located in his ass. His head is full of wires and motors that operate his facial movements, speech functions and cameras behind his fake eyes.
The evidence was taken to supreme court in the USA and they demanded that the pope be flown to America to be put through some tests to see if he was real.
The Vatican has demanded an apology for such a mad accusation and is suing the United States government for damages in a sum of 666 billion dollars.
In a gesture of goodwill, the residence of the state of Utah have pledged to become Catholic and give 12% of their wealth to the pope. Reports say that the sum is larger than that of what the government must pay.
The Vatican has kindly sent me another message, in the form of 12 angry men, that I will likely die of natural causes if I state that there is any truth in anything that I write. They suggest that I never appear on the web again.
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