back to 01.08.02

here, francisca, is where i write the last page of this letter. in the bar i used to work. mental institute, like any café or bar. it's like the place i met you. a second living-room to do visiting. but let's get to a point. or story.

the worst thing is deterrorizing of the mind. i've seen it here. sorrow leads to drinking, leads to alienation and isolation. and only more drinking helps. kill the pain. there tends. whatever. i get kisses and love here. ain't like good sex but it is good medicine for keeping me sain. sane. doesn't help my spelling.

i'm afraid, not terrified, that this is not the place to write.

i could tell you about the people here but i won't. people in cafés are the same everywhere. someone writes, people read various news papers. bushit ran over a cop. drunk on world god given power. it's such an obvious farce, this empire democracy. you can vote if you want to. you can be part of a voice. but if means nothing. because you ain't got no choice.

after talking to very unfriendly woman to get my money, i talked to one of the guards. and like it often is in this city, he was extremely friendly.

i like it here. it's not really germany. not french. france. an interesting mix with perhaps a few more foreigners. giving it, for a small city, a more relaxed atmosphere.

germany has a serious money problem. like many countries. it isn't as it was in the 80's. world leaders are others now. china is buying automobiles and oil. disaster possibility.

the christians sending spare change to africa for aids help don't want to supply needles to the drug users who use needles. although most everyone everywhere takes drugs, needle drug users have been sentenced to a hard death. and i think they say, with coffee and wine in hand. drugs are bad.

drugs are not good or bad, they are often escape, not unlike - wow, she is so sweet. belief. opiate of the masses. it appears that there is no way to avoid being like we are. i don't see how any of us can decide for anyone else what drug or belief is legal. it sounds to me like censorship. the empire is taking too far. slavery to one set of ideals. bushit standing before the cross, telling a reality that just ain't gonna work.

and they, nasa, have control, as long as the world allows, of space.

so what does anyone do.

love helps. compassion. but serious action may be required. not doing anything when one can do something.

can you tell us a story, francisca. about south america. your life on the streets of toronto. 12 years ago i saw you last. a good meeting. you told me to stay tuned. let you know.

i have no idea where you are. maybe someone will tell you there is a letter to you on the web. two. the other one deserves no answer. too pathetic. but it was real at the time. things can seem very important from inside them.

outside, things often seem absurd.

one doesn't need to be the same to fit in. i'm not and i get along well here. with those who aren't always the same and manage to fit.

against the grain.

still with love john rah