john rah letter to

dear francisca:

i am resolved, no matter how often i am wrong, to see through what i have set out to do. which isn't without challenge.

one never knows which little events in life move one to move. i guess now i would be ready to come back. i won't because it took me too long. it was the nature of me and the project that was to become mine.

i was and am still, from the very first, stubborn. persistent. it's made me no fortune in the material world. my head is very wealthy. i've got the makings of a philosopher or some thing like it. cyber hippie punk philosophy. screaming at the moon.

but it pays its dividends.

wolves do it. count me in.

i'm terribly in love. i'm often trying not to be because it has resulted in a celibate madness. obsessive compulsive scratching ink on paper till i lose the boarder between fact and fiction.

i should take a break. i've said a fair deal already.

the significance of our meeting was almost like this back when it was. writing to you instead of the story because i thought maybe you were the story. and for me, you still are. it is the main character.

to explain it as seeing an angel is often hard to sell on someone beautiful. they've heard it often enough and can smell the difference between love and possession.

love can be forever. love making, less likely.

_bunny stop_

what people think and say, hear and understand, are 4 very different things. that is important to understand for communication. what it means is, i can make anything you said to me mean what i want it to mean. for a week or 10 years. and whatever really didn't matter so much then. like the butterfly effect thing.

which is bullshit.

butterflies are many. small catasstrophies balance out. even bigger ones.

so if i stomp on any of your feelings, i didn't mean it. i really was wondering what's inside that pretty big head.


i always fall for the ones like you. and get up again bearing gifts.

of love.

_fish stop_

remind me to tell the lobster that the bunnie has the story.

if not, here it is. it's also for you.

it's for many like you who i've been fortunate to meet. the case is very simple.

_duck stop_

letter 01.08.02