cousin kim:

you asked me a couple years ago, something like, what's the most important thing. to do. maybe.

i answered, to read. it's very important for me. but thinking about it after thinking about your somewhat frustrated look. it isn't most important. for me writing is likely, of course after people and love, most important.

to be brutal. i don't believe in the sanctity of one god religions. they are war politics.

i think the most important thing is to know what you want. one day you will be twice as old as you are now. in those years, even if what you want doesn't earn you a living.

if you do something you want to do, something that you can slowly get better at, even if only one hour a day.

when you are 40 you will want to go back in time to kiss yourself.

the hard part is having the patience to find out what you like to do. so you do everything that isn't too dangerous.

i loved hockey. i knew i'd not play professionally but i loved to have blades under my feet. and shoot the puck, can, rock or ball. i collected pucks before and after games. at the end of the back yard by the golden delicious apple tree stood the regulation size hockey net. my dad made it out of wood. 2x4's. it had to be heavy. the street hockey nets flew away when you hit them with a puck.

on the patio by the back door, i had a big piece of plywood. i spent hours shooting the 80 pucks at the net, gathering them and doing it again. and even though i'm so old i can't say, i could still score on 98% of the goalies on this planet. just give me the puck.

and the most fun part was doing it as best i could, trying different tricks. and it doesn't matter that it was just hockey. i like it. i have roller blades now. germans don't love hockey. and i don't care much for soccer. so i roll down along the river, feeling the muscles working. seeing how they get stronger, taking me further and faster.

the most important thing is to go at it with the energy that you have. don't let anyone, especially me, the one who left the flock. tell you what.

and i have to say it.

tv is evil. it is backwards to life. go chop some wood. you learn more.

letter 01.04.02