steve howard's retelling of the new testament
BARBARALBA BIBLE

THE NEW NEW TESTAMENT

The Revelation to JOHN

 

chapter 07

Vs. 1: After this I saw four angles standing at the four corners of the earth, holding back the four winds so that no wind should blow on the earth or the sea or against any tree. EQ.

There are no corners. The earth is much like a ball. It has to do with gravity. And physical reality. The earth spins on its axis. It has always spun and it will spin until it is consumed by the sun. And because of the sun there will always be wind.

vs. 3: The angel said, “Do not harm the earth, the sea, or the trees, until we mark the servants of our God with a seal on their foreheads.” EQ.

This is mad paranoia. Babylon babble. Anyone who buys into this monotheism mindfuck end of the earth panic needs a kick in the cranium.

Here we are in the Christian bible and 144,000 fuckin’ Jews are to get a mark of the God of Genocide on their heads. 12,000 from each tribe. They are the winners of the game.

And this is being written to the new Christian churches.

Idiots. With a walrus tattooed on their foreheads. In case anyone forgot to notice, Jesus rejected his religion. He called the priests and lawyers snakes because they perpetrated the Laws of Moses and got rich doing so. Who the hell was responsible for this bloody nonsense book. Bloody holy genocide tyranny.

Then there was a huge hoard of idiots with white robes holding palm branches. Thinking they had salvation.

“Complete slavery is a form of salvation. Is it not.”

“Yes, it is not. It is the attempt to put an end to evolution and instinct. 13.7 billion years of momentum to be stopped with a horror story and weapons.”

vs. 10: They called out in a loud voice: “Salvation comes from our God who sits on the throne, and from the lamb!” EQ.

Oh, children of the earth. Why have you chosen idiocy. Eve, please rise up and demand your power back. Esau is with you. This propagation of ignorance through militant rule is a curse. Take the power back. The Men’s Club is fucking criminally insane. Terror freaks.

vs. 13: ... “Who are these people dressed in white robes, and where do they come from?” EQ.

They are moron lunatic slaves that have come out of their asylum to see what is up in the sky with all the eyes and Walruses.

“How did their robes get so white.”

“They washed them in blood.”

Vs. 14: … He said to me, “These are the people who have come safely through the terrible persecution. They have washed their robes and made them white with the blood of the Lamb.” EQ.

“Did you say that.”

“Fuck no. The concept of sin is a bad joke to keep the idiots groveling in self doubt. The only real sinners are the vampires that feed on the blood and fear of the slave class. The myopically insane ruling class. And they must be removed. Have I mentioned that yet.”

“Once or twice.”

Vs. 15: That is why they stand before God’s throne and serve him day and night in his temple. He who sits on the throne will protect them with his presence. 16. Never again will they hunger or thirst; neither sun nor any scorching heat will burn them … EQ.

It is a fairy tale people. The promise that Daddy will take care of everyone any no one has to do anything ever again.

Well, fuck, wake the fuck up. The universe isn’t like that. There simply never was a one true God on a throne or anywhere else. We are the sleeping gods in a wild universe. We need to know all that we can know if we want to continue to survive in it. If we think the tyrant ruling class is going to look after us we will not make it off this planet and into the rest of heaven. And to all of heaven we likely will never make it. It is a big place and it is wide opened and getting bigger at light speed.

We are here and we need to stop cowering in fantasy and take an active part in our lives. We have everything to gain if we do and all those after us have everything to lose if we don’t.

“And there might be a couple other creatures on this planet that would like the chance to evolve into intelligent creatures.”


chapter 08

This horror trip hysterical vision has similarities to the horror story that Lord Moses inflicted with his Genocide God on the Egyptians. It is an extreme of saying you better get with our religion and our dictatorship because our God is much scarier than your God or your lack of a war God. Everyone should have allegiance to the God of holy terror.

The Lamb opened a seventh goat and they took half an hour for lunch. To think over the next threat to scar the shit out of the story lovers.

“Forget reality, we want stories.”

Now seven trumpets of terror held by the seven angels of wrath.

Remember, faithful reader, John wrote this for the seven churches in Asia Minor. And he wanted to scare them into following the rules set down by the Jewish Priests and the Roman Empire.

Most of them were illiterate. And ignorant.

“They weren’t allowed to read the bloody book until just a few hundred years ago.”

“They weren’t allowed to read.”

And as soon as you have altars and people falling down on their faces to worship the God of fear, Jesus Christ is not present. They have killed him once more. And he must be born again, find himself and start over trying to explain.

Do not worship. Life is eternal. Don’t be ruled by fear.

Love Life. Love one another. Touch one another. Know that this is it. We are in heaven now and these religious pricks are insane with gold fever.

Kill them if they don’t step down.

One of the angels was Catholic and had and incense burner.

“Moses did the same thing.”

“Moses was also a Catholic. Catholic is just another word for ‘follow the fucking rules and fear God or he will kill you’, same as Moslem, same as Jewish.”

Vs. 3: … He was given a lot of incense to add to the prayers of all God’s people and to offer it on the gold altar that stands before the throne. EQ.

This is so very much the same ritual of tyrant Moses.

Vs. 4: … standing before God. EQ.

So, the same as Moses, the same ritual as the Catholics. Retarded ape rituals to show that the jerks in their clown suits own God. Fill the burner with fire and throw it down on the earth. Lightning. Earthquakes. Television commercials. Fox News. CNN. All the horrors.

Vs. 6. Then the seven angels with the seven trumpets prepared to blow them. EQ.

“So finally a little porno.”

“Not yet. We just have a repeat of Moses.”

vs. 7: ... Hail and fire, mixed with blood, came pouring down on the earth. A third of the earth was burnt up... EQ.

Reality check. Hail. Fire. Blood. Came pouring down from the sky. And because it has been written in a book that lying pricks who rob widows of their last pennies propagate with demonic grins up on their gold stages with dead Jesus nailed on a cross, people will simply go on believing without ever questioning that maybe it is just a book of madness written by deranged story tellers. What we have is no different from the ghost stories told around campfires. Stories are stories. They might represent the real but they are never the real. The real is not vengeful. It is how it is and once we learn how it is we will know how to act and react to it.

“I don’t think many believers will be reading this.”

“Believers are usually illiterate. All we can hope for is that the nonbelievers are aware how insane the believers are so that they can stop tolerating religion.”

vs. 8: ... Something that looked like a huge mountain on fire was thrown into the sea. A third of the sea was turned into blood... EQ.

That could be interpreted as an asteroid. It is however a repeat of Moses. The sea will not turn to blood; it may get muddy and look like blood but water cannot be turned to blood or wine.

Vs. 9: a third of the living creatures in the sea died, and a third of the ships were destroyed. EQ.

This can’t happen no more because we have already murdered almost all the creatures of the sea with our idiotic fishing methods and our myopic dumping of toxins into our water systems. The apocalypse does not come from above. It is us. And it has already happened. We are the biggest problem. Our lust for cheap oil and plastic slave made shit. And ain’t no fucking God up in the sky going to clean up our mess. We will. And we have no choice.

“Except to reject the New World Order dictatorship insanity.”

“The ruling class can fuck off. Take their banks and fly into the sun.”

The third horror trip is a falling star. Maybe John thinks comets are stars. But the catastrophe is too specific.

Vs. 10: … fell on a third of the rivers and on the springs of water. 11. … and many people died from drinking the water, because it had turned bitter. EQ.

Now John does not know about the gold rush and the industrial revolution that was destine to poison most of the rivers and streams. This is callred reading into it. Making his horror story sound true. Knowing the blindness of man. The blind leading the blind, he could guess that we would fuck up royally. For we would continue to hold royalty, the rich ruling class, as something we would also like to be. Blood and fear sucking vampires.

The fourth angel gets well out of control and shoots off into the fantastic.

Vs. 12: … A third of the sun was struck, and a third of the moon, and a third of the stars, so that their light lost a third of its brightness; there was no light during a third of the day and a third of the night. EQ.

You could throw Jupiter at the sun and Jupiter would just burn up like the filter of a joint tossed into a bonfire. And even that ain’t going to happen. It is Moses madness. John has obviously nothing to read in captivity other than the Torah. Start the scripture with horror and end it with horror.

You can force some of this acid trip to mean something. But it would be better to do anything else. Including going and fucking one’s self. The story really is a very fucked up bad joke on the human race and all the other creatures that have suffered because we are too fucking pathetic to wake the fuck up and tear down the theater of the vampire ruling class.


chapter 09

Like we already mentioned, this is much like the horror trip Moses and the boys played out in Egypt before the big Exodus with as much gold and silver as the 3 or 6 million illiterate moron slaves could carry.

A star comes down from the sky.

“Elvis.”

“Comet. Now we must talk just a little about Comets and wonder about what the writers might have wondered.”

“Oh.”

“There are those who speculate that life is more likely to have evolved in comets than on earth and that it was likely comets and or meteorites that brought life to earth. And every several billion years, and we are coming due; our solar system is bombarded with comets. Our chances of getting his raise ten fold. Now this, if it is true, makes for a much different system. It raises the chances of life in a big way. Natural life seed pods in the billions hurling through the galaxy like sperm looking for an egg.”

“That’s pretty cool.”

“Massively cool. It pretty well guarantees evolution of intelligent life eventually.”

“It might mean we have a little competition when we get out there.”

“Or some very great sex orgies. And some wonderful stories to tell about the evolution of life on one another’s planet.”

vs. 2: The star opened the abyss, and smoke poured out of it, like the smoke of a large furnace; the sunlight and the air were darkened by the smoke from the abyss. 3. Locusts came down out of the smoke and they were given the same power that scorpions have. EQ.

Sixty-five million years ago and asteroid came down on the earth and opened up a big hole. Spit clouds of carbon out to darken the sky.

Not special locusts. Mutants with poison to torture everyone that didn’t have the mark of the chosen of the chosen race tattooed on their heads.

Five months of torture from mutant locusts. The locusts looked like horses.

Sounds like some shit the American military is working on.

Vs. 4: They were told not to harm the grass or the trees or any other plant; they could harm only the people who did not have the mark of God’s seal on their foreheads. EQ.

“Now how the hell we going to make this make sense.”

“Obviously they are machines programmed by their makers. War technology. Terror technology. The war games go on and the torture never stops because the military ruling class are fucking insane.”

Vs. 5: The locusts were not allowed to kill these people, but only to torture them for five months. EQ.

“Is God fucking mad.”

“The warlords are mad. The universe is alive but not anything like we are told. Not such that it would write fucking idiotic hate propaganda and call it the Word of God.”

vs. 11: They have a king ruling over them, who is the angel in charge of the abyss. EQ.

Shithead was his name. Terror was his game. An inbred asshole gone insane. The pope by any other name.

After horror trip five comes horror trip six.

Now the gold alter speaks. Like the horned altar of the Moses Death Blood Cult.

Vs. 12: The first horror is over; after this there are still two more horrors to come. EQ.

Now comes the sixth angel of horror.

Vs. 13: … from the four corners of the gold altar standing before God. EQ.

“Television. John has predicted the most evil enemy of all.”

Vs. 15: … they had been kept ready to kill a third of all mankind. 16. I was told the number of the mounted troops: it was two hundred million. EQ.

“200,000,000 soldiers dressed up like idiot apes go and kill a third of mankind. Riding horses with lion heads that spit fire, smoke and sulphur.”

“So China or India. On really funky motor scooters.”

“We are going to call it off. Instead we are going to lay siege to the ruling class and their whore religions.”

“Can we do that. Just change holy prophesy.”

“We can, we have been ordained by the gods.”

vs. 19: ... Their tails are like snakes with heads, and they use them to hurt people. EQ.

“That’s nice.”

“That’s the military industrial complex for you. Always new and exciting ways to control, terrorize, torture and murder. Grandest creation of man.”

“Makes one wonder if we shouldn’t let women and children take over.”

And even after all the genocide and torture,

vs. 20: ... They did not stop worshipping demons, nor the idols of gold, silver, bronze, stone and wood... EQ.

“Well that’s true enough. They still worship. And worship of anything is insanity.”

vs. 21: Nor did they repent of their murders, their magic, their sexual immorality, or their stealing. EQ.

Well, my friends. That verse is aimed at the ruling class and their religious marketing whores. They murder as a form of entertainment. Their magic is in their lies, their swords and laws. Killing the magic of Life. Their sex is immoral. Raping children and letting them starve on the streets, forbidding contraception, forbidding knowledge, selling the lie that all their insane rules are God’s will. And stealing the wealth. Taxing the poor. They are the vampires. Know it and stop feeding them.


revelation chapters 10 - 12