steve howard's retelling of the new testament
BARBARALBA BIBLE

THE NEW NEW TESTAMENT

The Revelation to JOHN

 

chapter 10

Here is a thought that must be written as we embark on the big secret.

“What then.”

“The book, from start to finish, is mumbo jumbo.”

“That is a nice thought.”

Vs. 2: He put his right foot on the sea and his left foot on the land, 3. And called out in a loud voice that sounded like the roar of lions. EQ.

“Or a thunder storm.”

“Or a fat drunk farting.”

Well, John was ready to write down the big secret. The secret that would set us free from four thousand years of monotheistic patriarchal tyranny.

And to keep the suffering ignorant slaves in suspense.

vs. 4: ... “Keep secret what the seven thunders have said; do not write it down!” EQ.

vs. 6: and took a vow in the name of God. EQ.

“Let yes mean yes and no mean no.”

Liars use a vow when they have nothing to back up their story. So either the angels up in the sky with the beasts with all the horns and eyes and disaster for the earth are a bunch of liars. Or. John’s Revelation is fantasy.

“Which way do you lean.”

“The vision seems just a little to fantastic, I will have to lean toward the thought that what we have here is best summed up as bullshit.”

Vs. 7: … “then God will accomplish his secret plan, as he announced to his servants, the prophets.” EQ.

So John eats the scroll.

“Naturally, what else would one do with the big secret.”

It was sugar coated and made from grass. So a little bitter in the stomach.

“What was the secret.”

“There are no secrets. For those who have ears, for those who have eyes and the rest of the nerve system. Figure it out and stop looking in bloody holy books for instructions how to think and be. For fuck sake.”

“Is that the secret.”

“Could well be. But something we know for certain is, we are here now.”


chapter 11

The end of religion is now. This is the hidden message of the bible.

“Are you serious.”

“No man has been more serious.”

Vs. 1: “Go and measure the temple of God... EQ.

This means. Go fuck your ass. It can’t be done.

“What if it means jackass, as in donkey.”

“We don’t fuck farm animals.”

“What about house pets.”

“Try to focus, we have this thing almost finished. There are no dimensions to the temple of God. The universe belongs to her. It grows at light speed. We can’t move that fast.”

“What.”

Vs. 1: … and the altar, and count those who are worshipping in the temple. EQ.

“He must be talking about a real place. Likely some stone building in Jerusalem.”

Vs. 2: But do not measure the outer courts, because they have been given to the heathen, who will trample on the Holy City for forty-two months. EQ.

“But they have all been murdered already.”

“There are always a few coming through the shit storm.”

Vs. 4: The two witnesses are the two olive-trees and the two lamps that stand before the Lord of the earth. EQ.

“He’s loosing it. He’s in the nonsense part of his trance.”

vs. 5: If anyone tries to harm them, fire comes out of their mouths and destroys their enemies... EQ.

“The holy death cut demons. The prattling pope. The lying lawyers. The satanic states men. The obtuse owners. The wicked warlords. Anyone tries to get near them they are killed by the mindless military murdering mad men. It’s here. The end of the world has happened and we forgot to notice.”

“It’s just a story.”

“Oh.”

vs. 6: They have authority also over the springs of water, to turn them into blood; they have authority also to strike the earth with every kind of plague as often as they wish. EQ.

“Well that is true already. The thieves have either poisoned of stolen the water. Murdering those who want to drink. They have plagued the world with chemical warfare in every form.”

Vs. 7: … the beast that comes up out of the abyss will fight against them. EQ.

“Well hang on. What is the abyss.”

“A bottomless hole. Right on down to hell.”

“But that is nonsense. There is no hole on earth that does not have a bottom. Under the crust of the earth, all the way around the planet, is molten rock. Not even a bad assed beast, not even bacteria can live down there.”

“They thought the world was flat and the center of the universe at the time.”

“And we let these morons tell us how to think and how to be, who to fear and worship.”

“People are mostly trusting fools.”

“Well that the earth goes around the sun and the sun around a black hole, we got to make that clear. How can we hope for a sane world if fools are believing mad fairy tales.”

“We are working on it.”

Vs. 8: and their bodies will lie in the street of the great city, where their Lord was crucified. The symbolic name of the city is Sodom, or Egypt. EQ.

“What. Sodom or Egypt. That’s like Dodge or Mexico. Chicken or flock of geese.”

“He’s just fucking with us. It’s the typical piss off the reader with madness before the clarity. The storm before the calm.”

“You think so.”

“John has to get by the censors, he has to make it look like he is right out of his fucking head before he lays it on us.”

“I can hardly wait.”

Vs. 9: People from all nations, tribes, languages, and races will look at their bodies for three and a half days and will not allow them to be buried. EQ.

“The UN police peace force.”

“The only program on television for three and a half days.”

“Who is dead in the street.”

“The two olive tree people prophets.”

Vs. 11: After three and a half days a life-giving breath came from God and entered them, and they stood up; and all who saw them were terrified. EQ.

“I fucking guess so. Dead for three and a half days then they suddenly jump up ready to terrorize the world. Do you think this can all be true.”

“As true as two airplanes that no one saw hitting the two steel frame towers and three buildings falling down like perfect demolitions.”

“But everyone believes that’s what happened.”

“No, only an idiot or someone who fears their police state evil government that is owned by vampires would believe such cheap television bullshit drama.”

And of course, and earthquake to add to the theater.

vs. 13: The rest of the people were terrified and praised the greatness of the God in heaven. EQ.

“This is one of those locked messages. And if you have studied theology and Philosophy it will be clear. But the pricks kill the philosophers. So I’ll tell you.”

“I would certainly like to know the hidden message in God’s mad vengeance once again on all mankind and the rest of the creatures of this planet after he promised he wouldn’t no more.”

“A real God has no need to use terror to have ignorant humans worship in fear. Not even a real angel would be tempted to play such games with foolish primates just starting to become aware. It is not a God characteristic to torture creatures far less intelligent and powerless. And almighty God is not fucking insane. We are talking paranoid megalomania. Strictly human. Or better said. Subhuman.”

“Than who is bring all this terror on.”

“Insane, very evil forces that want to be called God. The lowest of all creatures.”

“Like that lying son of a test tube, the Pope.”

“For example. The demons of hell. The vampires that feed on fear and blood. The demented insane rulers of our planet. The maggots on the shit of the slugs from the open sewers of hell.”

“Are you saying the Pope is a demon of hell.”

“He is one of them. Not only must he be destroyed. The Vatican must be dismantled and the wealth taken to the 3rd world. The mountains of wealth leaved off. The valleys of poverty filled in.”

“How in hell you going to do that.”

“We aren’t in hell. This is heaven. There is no need to worship Death Cults. In fact. It is insanity to worship.”

“Are you going to rule for ever and ever.”

“No ‘one’ is going to anything. We are a social creature and we will figure things out together.”

vs. 18: The heathens were filled with rage. EQ.

Thousands of years of being tortured by Death Cult religions and warlords. I don’t blame them. In fact. This book is for the heathens. The pagans. It is the wrath of the fish.

vs. 18: … “The time has come to destroy those who destroy the earth!” EQ.


chapter 12

Vs. 1: Then a great and mysterious sight appeared in the sky. There was a woman ... EQ.

A woman. Now that is mysterious. This is supposedly the mother of the holy one. But for those interested in the connection to astrology we will give the description of the woman.

Vs. 1: … whose dress was the sun and who had the moon under her feet and a crown of twelve stars on her head. EQ.

This is astrology. Now it must be noted that astrology is mostly vague speculation. However, it is looking out at the stars. And we are one of about 100 billion or more of them in the Milky Way. The Milky Way is estimated to be one of 100 billion galaxies. In the middle of our galaxy and likely this holds true for other galaxies, is a black hole with a mass estimated at 2.6 million times that of our sun. That is estimated to be one of the smaller, in mass, size hardly applies to black holes, for a galaxy center. There are other black holes throughout our galaxy but the one in the middle it the hub’s center. The galaxy is being sucked into it at an alarming rate. Luckily for life, there is a great distance from the hub to the outer fringes or the swirling mass of stars. And out at the outer fringes is our star. It will be many years before we have a clear picture but it is clear that we are a small part of all that is. What is a little unique is that we are observing the universe. There may be others observing but still we don’t know.

vs. 3: ... There was a huge red dragon with seven heads and ten horns and a crown on each of his heads. 4. With his tail he dragged a third of the stars out of the sky and threw them down to the earth. EQ.

This cannot be taken literally. The stars cannot be thrown down on the earth. Not even one. Our earth will be destroyed when our star grows. And we will meet Andromeda before then. And the earth is not where stars are thrown toward. They are pulled into black holes.

Vs. 4: … He stood in front of the woman, in order to eat her child as soon as it was born. EQ.

“Hard to say what he’s getting at.”

“Hysteria. Symbolism that likely has little to do with the heavens and more to do with the rulers of the world.”

Vs. 5: Then she gave birth to a son, who will rule over all nations with and iron rod. But the child was snatched away and taken to God and his throne. EQ.

“What is the iron rod. Not an erect penis.”

“Dictatorship, perhaps. The metal sword. We must remember John is mad with furry at the beginning of Christianity and he is a prisoner on an island and his followers, Paul’s followers, are being murdered for their beliefs.”

“Which in turn will school them in how to treat non-Christians in the future.”

“It is a curse of vengeance that cannot be balanced. We can only hope that we grow tired of murdering one another and wake up to the vast opportunities that are open to us. And the necessity of becoming space faring creatures.”

Well, the woman hides in the desert for the magic time of three and a half years.

Vs. 7: Then war broke out in heaven. EQ.

vs. 9: The huge dragon was thrown out - that ancient serpent, called the Devil, or Satan, that deceived the whole world. He was thrown down to earth, and all his angels with him. EQ.

“He means the Pope, doesn’t he.”

“If we need a figure head. But we must remember this is symbolism and based on a story at a different time. At the time there was a megalomaniac Emperor of the region by the name of Nero. He had a much longer name and was know for a few other things but important to our story is that he blamed the Christians for the great fire of Rome and thereafter persecuted them. And, the story goes, threw them to the wild beasts as food and burnt Christians at night to light his garden bower.

vs. 10: … “Now God has shown his power as King! Now his Messiah has shown his authority! EQ.

Now the next part of the verse is very likely in reference to the end of Nero. Or the promise of the end of him.

Vs. 10: For the one who stood before our God and accused our brothers day and night has been thrown out of heaven. EQ.

The bugger was dead. The bugger that didn’t like Christians.

“But Christians need not take it personally. Like the Jews of the second world war, the Emperor needed a scapegoat to prove he was not to blame for the grim situation of the state. Common practice. Point the finger and chose an enemy to vent frustration.”

“Like America has done with the lands sitting on oil reserves.”

vs. 11: Our brothers won the victory over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the truth which they proclaimed… EQ.

Now this we will simply apply to us now. Proclaim the truth and it will set us free. Of course all of the truth is a distant dream but every attempt toward it is an improvement over fantastic myopic lies. And over and over the next part of the verse has been true.

Vs. 11: … and they were willing to give up their lives and die, 12. And so be glad, you heavens, and all you that live there! EQ.

And an even better situation would be:

“They were willing to give up their lies and live.”

vs. 12: For the Devil has come down to you, and he is filled with rage, because he knows that he has only a little time left.” EQ.

We see this happening now. The servants of hell desperately attempting to create a world police state they have labeled ‘The New World Order’. And it is already brutal and will require attention to keep from becoming worse. Think of the Second World War as a test model. And refuse to fight or incarcerate your brothers and sisters. Terrorism comes mostly from the state. And the state is owned not by the people as it should be but by the mighty owners. And they live in a different reality. They do not know what love is. They all suffer from gold fever. Blind to what life is.

vs. 13: ... he began to pursue the woman who had given birth to the boy. EQ.

He, the warlords, has been chasing down the women and children and murdering them to maintain fear. Rule with fear. The surest way to world catastrophe.

vs. 17: The dragon was furious with the woman and went off to fight against the rest of her descendants, all those who obey God’s commandments and are faithful to the truth revealed by Jesus. 18. And the dragon stood on the sea-shore. EQ.

The simple truth reveled by Jesus. And it is a little difficult to remember that in the story he was just a man. A bastard son. Heaven is here now. The Kingdom of God is in you. We are the gods. The ruling class is vile. Murdering snakes of hell. The priests and lawyers are their dirty lying whores.

Take the power back.


revelation chapters 13 - 15