steve howard's update of the new testament
BARBARALBA BIBLE

THE NEW NEW TESTAMENT

Paul's first letter to the EPHESIANS

 

chapter 04

Here’s a question. Were the Lords aliens. They mentioned the Gods coming to sex up the women in the Torah. Even Mother Mary, they tell us, was sexed up by a Lord. These heavenly creatures brought their genes, sperm, to mix with the earth bound creatures. The Gods raped the little girls so we could stop being dumb primates.

Well, that would be science fiction. And the book in question is horror terror fantasy. And for those who actually think such a thing possible, our genes are almost identical to all other primates. We have not been visited by anything more than microscopic.

The Lords are what we today call the ruling class. Their story is grand, even Jesus wasn’t allowed to criticize them. ‘Render onto Caesar what is his.’ The privileged. The untouchables. They seem to have magic powers and thousands of years ago it would have seemed even more so. For now we know that they are pricks. And it wasn’t always a secret in the past. They had the advantage of knowledge and technology. They had better weapons. They have made a grand theater that is older than the written word. And still, they rule the world. The power is in the hands of the most demented.

“Unless we take the power back.”

“We will start by showing that the illusion is an illusion.”

“Like in the Wizard of Oz.”

“Right. Behind the big scary mask is a winy little frightened prick.”

vs. 4: There is one body and one Spirit. EQ.

Or. The earth is being used as a breeding ground for insane killer primates that will soon be picked up by aliens that use us for war games. Or more likely is that they are here and playing war games. The Lords are mad aliens using the planet as a playing field. Though they are not really aliens, it appears as though they may believe they are.

But when it comes down to it. We haven’t spent much time thinking about anything. Knowledge and wisdom has been branded as evil so that the evil can hoard it. And play their pathetic game of the Lords over the ignorant.

“Why would they want to.”

“You could ask why would anyone want oral sex.”

“Because it is fun.”

“That’s it. It is a grand game to enslave the world for the luxury of the few. A suicidal game but the Lords are myopic. They suffer from gold fever. They either don’t see, or don’t care that they poison paradise. A paradise that is real.”

vs. 17: In the Lord’s name, then I warn you: do not continue to live like the heathen; whose thoughts are worthless. EQ.

Paul. Fuck off. That’s backwards to Jesus and you know it. Jesus was a heathen. A heretic. You make war against all those not willing to play your fucked up hate sex and life club.

vs. 19: They have lost all feeling of shame. EQ.

Well good for them. Raise a cry of celebration for the heathens and heretics and the rest of the non-believers. That makes them ages ahead of your despise the real club. Selling shame as if it was holy. Shame, especially when it comes to the body, is a vile lie. Shame has to be taught. It is not natural. It is hateful.

vs. 25: No more lying, then! EQ.

That would be the biggest evolutionary jump human kind could make. It would change everything. It would reveal the angel. The creature that already is in us just begging for us to do exactly that. Stop lying, drop shame and drop the barriers that we build to hide behind.

Vs. 29: Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you. EQ.

“That’s nice.”

“Even nicer when put together with the previous quote. We would be racing into the world of the gods without moving.”


chapter 05

It doesn’t look like we’ll get out of the shit storm any time soon.

Vs. 1: Since you are God’s dear children, you must try to be like him. 2. Your life must be controlled by love, just as Christ loved us and gave his life for us as a sweet-smelling offering and sacrifice that pleases God. EQ.

“Be like God and condone the genocide of nations. Be like God and destroy every creature that doesn’t fit on a boat.”

“Well, for the boat story to be true it would have to be a space ship of very grand dimensions. And something besides water would be necessary to murder all of life. Poisons, like we are using at present, would maybe do it. The earth could be covered in ice but not water.”

“Well the genocide of nations is certainly true.”

“Still going on. Even though we should know better by now.”

“And how sweet-smelling is a body nailed to a cross.”

“Not very. And why seeing his son nailed to a cross would please him, it is hard to imagine such a father as God. Holy patriarchy.”

vs. 3: Since you are God’s people, it is not right that any matters of sexual immorality or indecency or greed should even be mentioned among you. 4.Nor is it fitting for you to use language which is obscene, profane, or vulgar. EQ.

“Define sexual immorality.”

“Rape.”

“And are not the ruling class with their priests and lawyers the greediest pricks of all.”

“Their greed is beyond indecency. It could be labeled as evil. And we would define evil as the backwards to life. So saints of hell. Devils of darkness.”

“Odd they should need so much reverence.”

“No. They are subhuman and have yet to evolve out of the darkness. They are a sorry lot. We have to encourage them to make the step to human.”

“And what the fuck is obscene and profane and vulgar language. Is language not a living entity.”

“It gives the pathetic a job as censors. It gives them the feeling of being better because they enslave their language. The language that is not theirs to enslave.”

And just one more point. This idea of not speaking of sexual immorality. There is no such thing between consenting adults. The sexual immorality that is never spoken of is that of the ruling class. We don’t say the Pharaoh raped his daughter and Moses was a bastard that raped little boys and girls in his inner holy tent. We don’t dare say that priests are still raping little boys. And nuns misusing little girls. No, we don’t talk of such things because we accept that the privileged are above the laws they make for the slave class.

“Why would Paul say not to speak of such things.”

“To remind us to make sure we spoke of them.”

Vs. 14:

Wake up, sleeper,
and rise from death,
and Christ will shine on you.” EQ.

Or the sun. This wake up idea is still not understood, for the sleepers know not that they are sleeping.

Paul tells us about husband and wife rules of conduct. Patriarchy. Father the Lord of the home. The story of monotheistic dictatorship.

Vs. 22: Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23. For a husband has authority over his wife just as Christ has authority over the church; and Christ is himself the Saviour of the church, his body. EQ.

And just a reminder. Just because a thing is written does not make it so. There is no real reason a wife should submit to her husband. In reality it is best when they work as a team. And there is no natural law that says they can’t be of the same sex or a number other than two.

And Christ had nothing to do with the church. He raged against the synagogues. Threw curses at the priests and lawyers.

“So Paul continues to tell lies.”

“He wants to make them obvious, however, so it is easy to rebuke his wrongness.”

“Ya, right.”

vs. 33: and every wife must respect her husband. EQ.

No. They can tell their husbands to fuck off and or get the fuck out of their face if they think the husband is more trouble than he is worth. Husbands who want respect must earn it. Same as wives.

vs. 25: Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it. EQ.

Christ did not give his life for the church. The church didn’t exist. It was then the synagogue and Christ was hopping mad about the bullshit Laws of Moses and the Sadducees and Pharisees.

He gave his life to reveal a little truth. The church is his enemy.

“They did protect the scriptures which are very convenient as something to expose the whole theater as a big fat fucking lie when someone comes along and actually reads them. Or it.”

“So the church is like the Golem of the Tolkien books. The greedy myopic power hungry murderer idiot that by his self consuming nature inadvertently saves the day.”

Life people. It is real. Your fucked up churches are not. Your God’s a lie and your book is bogus.

Get out of your houses of worship before they fall on your sleepy heads.


chapter 06

vs. 1: Children, it is your Christian duty to obey your parents, for it is the right thing to do. EQ.

Gideon vs. 1: Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. EQ.

“Why twice.”

“Lord does not mean Christian. Just to make it clear that it is a commandment. From Lord Moses.”

And it is not wise. It makes the child a slave to his or her parents. And if the parents are wrong, which they sometimes are, a child, like a soldier, must know when to say no. Good parent will teach their children what they need to know to survive in the world and at times it is necessary to set down the law in the face of danger. Children watch and learn from your parents. But most likely if your parents call themselves Christians, Jews, Moslems or a long list of other religions, they are cult freaks. Die and go to heaven insanity. Best not to obey such parents. Try to instruct them. But be patient. Parents often have the crazy belief that if they follow the rules they are doing the right thing. Learn the rules but if you want to be more than a slave, you must know when to break the rules.

“You can’t tell the children that.”

“I just did. Jesus didn’t obey his parents. He rejected what they taught him regarding their belief system.”

“Parents should be forbidden to teach their children religious belief.”

“My parents are very frustrated with my rejecting of their belief. Oddly enough, however, my mother often told me to watch my language. And that is what I do. Not how she might have meant it consciously. But sometimes the words in anger hold the most truth. And to make it more ironic, my father, in his frustration one day, told me to make the Bible mean whatever I want.”

“You are saying that you have obeyed your parents though they would hardly approve of what you are doing.”

“The point I want to make is that there is angel in all of us. When you know this there is a message woven in the language. Parents can be often very wrong. They can also carry a message very vital to understand what you most want to do. And usually it is the backwards of your parents so that it is almost exactly what your grandparents may have wished. And when it comes down to it, we want to be freed from slavery. Enjoy life. It just seems so dangerous to leave the comfortable hotel of belief.”

“So you are obeying the subconscious of your parents wishes. The Bible updated to make sense is watching your language, like your mother often told you, and making the Bible mean what you want it to mean is obeying your father.”

“Yes, I am obeying my parents literally. And thus they have rejected me.”

“Which only makes sense.”

“Of course. You can’t blame them. I can’t blame them for the torture they inflicted on me for they thought they were doing the right thing. As so many believers believe when they tell their wild children that life is a fake and they must stop enjoying life and believe the age old lies for they are true. And you will go to hell if you don’t.”

“But you can blame the proprietors of religion.”

“Damn right.”

vs. 5: Slaves, obey your human masters with fear and trembling... EQ.

Slaves. For fuck sake Paul. Slavery is not excusable. It is not excusable that we in the first world, the village around the castle, make the third world our slave labour colony. And that is still the story. Most products, even food, is made by slave labour. Paying someone 30 cents a day is slave labour. We are a bunch of idiots in our blind greed. Slaves in the first world living in cheep luxury at the cost of slaves who work all day for a hand full of rice.

vs. 12: For we are not fighting against human beings but against the wicked spiritual forces in the heavenly world, the rulers, authorities, and cosmic powers of this dark age. EQ.

No. The pricks are humans. They are insane megalomaniacs but they are humans. And unlike heavenly spiritual forces, if there was such a fucking thing, we can do something about the rulers of this dark age.

“The dark age is over, is it not.”

“Yes. We are closing the door to the house of darkness. We have entered the age of enlightenment but there is still much to be cleaned up.”

“But doesn’t that suggest that the dark age had some kind of dark force if the age of enlightenment is the end of it and the beginning of humans having common sense and awareness.”

“Well, I don’t know.”

“But you do.”

“Okay. I know that we have been in a dark age that was very real and that coming out of it was very real and entering the new age was very real. I just don’t know how to explain it so that it is real. I can’t figure how it was known thousands of years ago that it would take till now. I don’t know how where we are in space matters.”

“Just that it does.”


philippians chapters 01 - 03