chapter 25

Paul is still in custody and Felix is no more governor. The writers tell us Felix wanted to gain favour with the Jews. So he left him in prison. Your narrator finds it hard to comprehend why Roman rulers were concerned with Jewish laws. It lacks in plausibility.

Paul has managed to make himself public enemy number 1 with the Priests and Lawyers of the Jewish persuasion. Stealing the role of Jesus. They wanted to take him back to Jerusalem so they could kill him on the way. And Paul isn’t done yet so he wants to avoid being killed by his fellow Jews.

He appeals his case to the Emperor.

Vs. 11: If I have broken the law and done something for which I deserve the death penalty, I do not ask to escape it. But if there is no truth in the charges they bring against me, no one can hand me over to them. I appeal to the Emperor.” EQ.

“Murder, of course, is not on the list even though he was locking up and killing people under Jewish authority in a Roman occupied land.”

“Forget it.”

Vs. 19: All they had were some arguments with him about their own religion and about a man named Jesus, who has died; but Paul claims that he is alive. EQ.

And if that is a crime, a billion humans stand guilty.

Vs. 22: Agrippa said to Festus, “I would like to hear this man myself.” EQ.

King Agrippa and Bernice pranced into the great hall the next day to hear the story.

Vs. 24: Festus said, “King Agrippa and all who are here with us: You see this man against whom all the Jewish people, both here and in Jerusalem, have brought complaints to me. They scream that he should not live any longer. 25. But I could not find that he had done anything for which he deserved the death sentence.” EQ.

“What do we do with Paul the Super Jew.”

Vs. 27: “For it seems unreasonable to me to send a prisoner without clearly indicating the charges against him.” EQ.

“Oh really.”


chapter 26

Gods help me. I’m running out of words.
The tedium has sent me through the absurd.
Poking meaning at a story long ago told.
Raging against the machine while life is sold.

vs. 2: “King Agrippa!” EQ.

And the theater sits and watches. Paul tells how he was born a priest and lived the life of a priest. At those times a priest was someone special partly because they had access to books and other luxuries.

“Because Moses made the priests line of Levites holy forever.”

“On permanent vacation at the expense of the poor.”

“Well fuck Moses with his own rod.”

Vs. 8: Why do you who are here find it impossible to believe that God raises the dead?” EQ.

God is often used instead of, ‘fuck if I know what’. Here we could substitute God for Life.

He tells of his acts against the new Christians.

Vs. 9: “I myself thought that I should do everything I could against the cause of Jesus of Nazareth. 10. That is what I did in Jerusalem. I received authority from the chief priests and put many of God’s people in prison; and when they were sentenced to death, I also voted against them. EQ.

“Fuck.”

He retells the story about the bright light and embellishes it a little.

Vs. 19: “And so, King Agrippa, I did not disobey the vision I had from heaven. EQ.

“His hysterical hallucination.”

“He’s fucking with them. Seeing how much bullshit he can sell them.”

Vs. 24: As Paul defended himself in this way, Festus shouted at him, “You are mad, Paul! Your great learning is driving you mad!” 25. Paul answered, “I am not mad, Your Excellency! I am speaking the sober truth.” EQ.

“The sober truth in this case could be translated to drunken delusion.”

Vs. 28: Agrippa said to Paul, “In this short time do you think you will make me a Christian?” EQ.

In real reality the two likely never met. Paul either is very over written or complete fiction. There is no reason for Rome to give Paul any notice unless he is working for them. And in reality, Rome didn’t really pick up on Christianity for another few hundred years.

Vs. 29: “Whether a short time or a long time,” Paul answered, “my prayer to God is that you and all the rest of you who are listening to me today might become what I am – except, of course, for these chains!” EQ.

“What, impotent Super Jews.”

The chains. For those of us in the first world who think we are not murderers of the innocent, let us remember, our luxury is murder. Those people we tend to ignore in those far away lands.

Those 50 million natives of the Americas.

We are murderers. Blood on our Bananas. Blood in our sugar. Blood on our plastic toys. We are all murderers.

They still didn’t know what to accuse him of. Being mad was not really a crime.

But here we must give Paul credit for setting up the framework for the Church. Not because the church speaks the truth. Rather it hides it well.

And strange as it may seem. 2000 years ago there simply was not a chance of getting the message of Jesus in the heads of people that did not have the ability to touch what was real. It still will not be an easy job for those who understand that teaching about evolution and instinct might save us from our belief disease.

Times have changed, like times always seem to do. So that now we are many and our situation more critical.

People are living in fear. The animal has been beaten out of us. That hasn’t changed.

“Waiting for a savior in vain.”

We need to stop waiting.

“I know I’ll never die.” Jackson C. Frank.


chapter 27

Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
Life is not a dream.

Life is one of, most likely the most, real things in the universe.

So stop lying to your children. Stop teaching them religion. And stop making murderers out of them.

Paul takes a boat trip, in chains, from Caesarea to Rome. And since everyone has a Bible. Jesus laughed. Everyone ‘sept a few billion who don’t. And can read the story where Paul demonstrates that he is Paul the Super Jew.

Your narrator is going to indulge himself and tell something more resent. Back a mere 20 odd years ago. A story of something that really happened.

Algonquin Park is a great place for a canoe trip. There are park rangers who maintain a few hundred sites and only a few hundred people are in the interior of the park at any time. For those with a week or more to journey into the interior, humans are a seldom event.

And for anyone who hasn’t had such an adventure. Well. You miss out.

There are some things to watch for. Don’t have food in the tent. Ever. Hang your food. And use your head. Bears are not the only danger. A hungry raccoon can make a mess of your tent and your face.

Don’t take a canoe across a big lake. Especially not in the afternoon.

We forgot to abide by that rule one day. Our last day of one of our longer trips.

We had run into the worst enemy of all a week into our trip.

Black flies.

They were driving us batty. We covered much land and water to cut our adventure by a day and came out again to Brent Lake where we had started our trip. Not a really big lake. But big enough when the wind blows.

The sun was shining as we finished our last portage and paddled the last bit of river. We ate some horse food and took in our environment then made a straight line for the truck on the other side of the lake.

And a little breeze came up behind us. A gentle breeze that made our progress easier. And then a few clouds rolled in to cover the blue sky; a stronger breeze came over the water. And before we got to the middle of the lake, the sky was dark and the wind driving rain. And waves. Waves that became big almost all at once.

We were a little nervous for we both were bad swimmers. We had to find energy we didn’t know we still had to keep paddling straight into the waves. Now coming from a different direction. Until fighting wind and waves was about impossible.

Then we turned quickly to paddle with the waves. The waves took us along nicely but they were also filling our canoe with water.

I could see the canoe filling up and said nothing other than keep paddling. Stoat saw the front of the canoe and the shore that slowly got closer.

I was loving it. A real adventure. Riding on the edge of disaster.

It made the shore a very beautiful thing.

And it wasn’t a dream. We were in it and directly responsible for our own lives. And we had no choice but to do the work we had to do, together, without debate, so that we could get to the rest of our lives. There was no time for a break to ponder what options we had.

We were happy we had a good stable canoe. We even had an extra paddle for the eventuality that one broke.

Paul and everyone on the ship landed on Malta without the ship.

And they didn’t kill the captives. The prisoners were released from their chains and swam to shore. Paul asked the soldiers not to kill them.

There adventure took much longer than ours but much or all of their adventure was fiction. Though there have been many adventures similar. Many ships have broken up in a storm. Most times there are those who die. If they don’t have Jesus or Paul on board.


acts chapters 28