chapter 07

Stephen does a nice job of retelling the highlights of the Torah, leaving out the sperm and blood madness, the countless random laws. A 15 minute speech to the murder council.

He tells how Abraham left Mesopotamia to live in Haran but didn’t have any land. God promised he could kill everyone in Palestine and take their land so Abraham cut the foreskin off everyone. Then they end up in Egypt and the inbred son of the Pharaoh decided to take the 600,000 Israelite soldiers after terrorizing and plundering and murdering.

“That, not what Stephen said.”

“It was before they edited it.”

Okay, we forgot they went there in the first place because they were starving. And luckily they had sold Joseph into slavery or else he would not have control of Egypt.

“Like that’s gonna be fuckin’ true.”

Then we get to Moses 400 years later. The son and grandson of the Pharaoh. Another of many daughter rapists, also never clearly said, only implied. Rape murder steel lie. The usual.

Well, the story is written, so we won’t repeat it except for a couple quotes.

“You don’t wanna say that God took a 400 year nap and ignored the suffering of the children of Israel.”

“It’s all bullshit.”

Vs. 42: So God turned away from them and gave them over to worship the stars of heaven, as it is written in the book of the prophets:
‘People of Israel! It was not to me
that you slaughtered and sacrificed animals
for forty years in the desert. EQ.

Well fuck me. What is with this sacrificing of animals. You psychotic apes. Murdering morons. Fucking idiots.

Vs. 43: It was the tent of the god Molech that you carried,
And the image of Rephan, your star god;
They were idols that you had made to worship.
And so I will send you into exile beyond Babylon.’ EQ.

This Stephen has picked out of the details of the designs on the tent. And the rituals that go on around it.

Molech, everyone knows about him these days. Big with the ruling class pricks. But it is just idiot ritual. Molech was the model Moses copied from those he slaughtered. From the son of Noah who saw him naked. The ritual Moses had of burning animals on his alter was the same first born rule of Molech. The alter with horns. Made of gold. Pretty fucking retarded when one stops to picture it. Idiot apes trying to create meaning with random ritual. Tyrannical murdering madness. Not really worth keeping. Sorry humans, you are going to have to go. The planet has decided. See ya.

“Wait, what if we can fine 50 nice people.”

“Just kidding anyway. Just drop your fucking idiot death cult religions you mad murdering idiot apes.”

Stephen goes on to tell about the tent of raping children. The holy tabernacle of depravity. They kept raping children in the tent until the time of David.

David wanted a nicer place but was always off murdering Gentiles so Solomon the Bonehead built a big palace and temple and said it was to glory god. Which most idiots still believe to be the truth. When in fact they build such things for their own myopic greedy desires. Power demonstration.

“Stop fucking preaching at us Stephen.”

Vs. 48: “But the Most High God does not live in houses built by men; as the prophet says, EQ.

Well, how the hell can he when he ain’t an entity but a fantasy in our head. Do we build a temple for Mickey Mouse.

“Many.”

“Okay, bad example.”

Vs. 51: “How stubborn you are!” Stephen went on to say. “How heathen your hearts, how deaf you are to God’s message! You are just like your ancestors: you too have always resisted the Holy Spirit” 52. Was there any prophet that your ancestors did not persecute? They killed God’s messengers, who long ago announced the coming of his righteous Servant. And now you have betrayed and murdered him. 53. You are the ones who received God’s law, that was handed down by angels – yet you have not obeyed it!” EQ

Well, it was easier to get stoned back then than now.

“No it wasn’t.”

vs. 54: As the members of the Council listened to Stephen, they became furious and ground their teeth at him in anger. EQ.

Like the murdering myopic deluded apes that they are.

Vs. 57. With a loud cry the members of the Council covered their ears with their hands. Then they all rushed at him at once, 58. threw him out of the city, and stoned him. EQ.

Saul the whining prick limp dick got to hold the cloaks of the priest and watch Stephen be murdered. By the murdering Council of murders.

“Oh, how lovely. Another murder in broad daylight by the holy murder council. Nice to be above the law and murder whoever you please whenever you please.”

“Heaven is here and now.”

So did Stephen die and like the rest of the angels that die, was born again and again and again.

And still we fight the Laws of Moses. The laws and religions of mad murdering killer apes. And we ask, will there be forgiveness for such evil slugs of hell.


chapter 08

vs. 1: And Saul approved of his murder. EQ.

With all the murders, the church had a little set back. Many of the followers ran away.

Saul went around throwing believers in jail. Men and women.

The believers that ran away talked their pitch in other places. Philip attracted crowds in Samaria. Performed some miracles. Key word, performed. Mostly the evil spirit kind of miracles. Easiest to stage.

Peter and John go on down and placed their hands on the new believers, and they received the Holy Spirit. Now we could wonder if in some cases the Holy Spirit is sex. Or even sperm. There are many hints to this but we won’t dwell on it or the whole thing will turn into a porno book. Or, be revealed as a porno book. And if people understood that monotheistic religious books were all a bunch of pornographic jerk off written by mad monks bum fucking little boys it would make the whole thing look very silly.

“We wouldn’t want that.”

“No, we are going from the angle that it is full of big secrets hidden amongst redundant gibberish.”

“Have we discovered any yet.”

“Sure. We know that it is a sun cult and a warning of tyrannical dictators that call themselves Lord and love to rape, pillage and murder.”

“That’s a simply fact we should be aware of, nice that it is so clear in the holy books. Anything else.”

“Priests and lawyers are slugs of hell.”

“Also a good point. Anything else.”

“God is a concept our forefathers found in a campfire. Because they were idiots.”

“So he doesn’t really exist.”

“No, he doesn’t. But the universe does. And we are creatures of the universe with young minds that could burst wide opened and find heaven in the here and now. We are the gods still waiting to happen. The reluctant angels that find themselves in heaven.”

“So the book is worth reading.”

“It ain’t easy on account language has changed so much and it has been manipulated so many times. One will be quicker blessed to read this edition.”

“The Steve Howard rendition.”

“That’s the most up to date one. The one most likely to give the most blessings.”

“We’ll see if we can make that public information. Now back to the story.”

Simon said he’d pay for it. This Holy Spirit thing. He was a local magician with impressive power he claimed was from God.

vs. 20: But Peter answered him, “May you and your money go to hell...” EQ.

Seeing his mistake, he asks Peter the killer to pray for him so he don’t do nothing bad.

Philip meets up with an Ethiopian eunuch, works for a Queen. And Philip hears him reading from the Holy Scriptures and tells him about Jesus.

“Well, that sounds very pretty. Why don’t we go on down to the river and you can baptize me.”

So they go on down to the river and Philip baptizes him then goes away. Teaching along the way, the message of Jesus. Or some other nonsense.


chapter 09

Jesus laughed.

But we won’t explain why quite yet. To add a little suspense.

Vs. 1: In the meantime Saul kept up his violent threats of murder against the followers of the Lord. He went to the High Priest 2. and asked for letters of introduction to the synagogues in Damascus, so that if he should find there any followers of the Way of the Lord, he would be able to arrest them, both men and women, and bring them back to Jerusalem. EQ.

Let us take a little time to consider Saul, who later changes his name to Paul. He is a Jew. And he is a hateful murderer of people who like Jesus. Since Jesus is gone, his teaching is thrown overboard and a New Church is born. And it is the same foundation as the synagogue. Leaders and followers.

Saul is a frail man and impotent. And a whining little bitch. This will be made clear so no need to take the narrators word for it.

Vs. 3: As Saul was coming near the city of Damascus, suddenly a light from the sky flashed round him. EQ.

This is what some would call a vision. It is what sane people call a hysterical hallucination. It is likely over written for what is really happening is that Saul sees a brilliant opportunity to truly fuck up the Way of the Lord. The Lord meaning in this case Jesus who was not a Lord and calling him such is simply a lie and blasphemy. He was a teacher.

Vs. 4: He fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to him, “Saul, Saul! Why do you persecute me?”
5. “Who are you, Lord?” he asked.
“I am Jesus, whom you persecute,” the voice said. EQ.

So he fell to the ground. Maybe he was exhausted. Delirious from the heat of the sun on the dessert road. And since Jesus is long gone. Either in a different country or dead we must understand that the voice he hears is in his head.

But more than likely, the event never happened. He said it did to go undercover in the Way of the Lord.

“Undercover.”

“Exactly. His intention was to make certain that Christianity would not belong one little bit to the Christians. It was to be an extension of the Laws of Moses. The daughter company of Judaism. It sounds mad but we have yet to begin with Paul. It will be made clear.”

“He made Christianity into Judaism 2.0, or what.”

“Yes. But more than that. He made it into Paulism. It is his impotence and other physical short comings that make him a bitter venomous man determined to propagate hate toward the body and to women.”

“Why would he want to do such a thing.”

“He is the devil.”

Of course there is no real devil but it is his character.

So after his vision in the desert he plays the old ‘can’t see’ trick. Some go with the ‘can’t speak’ trick. Like Ab when he was pissed off that a Lord raped his sister-wife.

He didn’t eat for three days.

Well, Ananias is told by a Lord to go fix Saul up so he can see again. He ain’t so certain if he wants to because he knows Saul throws followers of the Way of the Lord in prison under the authority of the priests of the synagogue. In a Roman occupied land.

“It sounds like a fairy tale.”

“Oh, but it is.”

Vs. 18: At once something like fish scales fell from Saul’s eyes, and he was able to see again. He stood up and was baptized; 19. and after he had eaten, his strength came back. Saul stayed for a few days with the believers in Damascus. 20. He went straight to the synagogues and began to preach that Jesus was the Son of God. EQ.

So he started proclaiming a lie. Jesus was the bastard son of a raped Jewish girl. Now maybe Son of God meant, bastard of a Lord. And this is not said in jest. But what we understand is that he was not a normal earth creature. And when we understand such nonsense we can fuckin’ forget about understanding anything in the real world. We are stuck in a fantasy world and usually are idiot slaves of the real world that we are ignorant of.

“Really.”

“Ya, really.”

Well, everyone was amazed that suddenly this Saul fellow seemed to be on the side of the new campaign that he had so been against. This isn’t so unusual. Happens often with hysterical mad apes. They’ll rave on for one cause one day and another cause the next. They often end up selling someone else’s product.

But it is not wise to count Saul out as a normal hysterical gibbering lunatic. For he has managed to convince over a billion Christians to hate themselves. The exact opposite of what Jesus tried to do. So till now he has beaten Jesus with a few letters.

“Are you taking this personally.”

“Yes. But I also think that Paul is very much like the Golem character in the Tolkien adventures. And like the Mule in the Asimov Foundation adventures. He is a character that we must deal with. And since he comes on so strong, we must react strongly. In fact, one could say, he is a great inspiration for your narrator. The backward thrust.”

Vs. 23: After many days had gone by, the Jews met together and made plans to kill Saul, EQ.

The Jews wanted to kill everyone. It was their solution for every problem. But to be fair, this would not apply to all who call themselves Jews. It’s mostly a priest thing. Anyhow, Saul got wind of it and had someone help him sneak out of Damascus. It was a walled city, like most were at the time. So they lowered him out somewhere other than the main gate. And he hobbled away in the dark back to Jerusalem.

And there they didn’t believe he was a new man. But Barnabas told them Saul had a vision and was converted.

Vs. 28: And so Saul stayed with them and went all over Jerusalem, preaching boldly in the name of the Lord. 29. He also talked and disputed with the Greek-speaking Jews, but they tried to kill him. 30. When the believers found out about this, they took Saul to Caesarea and sent him away to Tarsus. EQ.

And there were a few days of peace in the area. With everyone gone.

Vs. 32: Peter traveled everywhere, EQ.

Gideon says, ‘all quarters’.

By foot usually. So everywhere did not include what we now call the Americas or China or Australia. Where people had lived many thousands of years. And there are those who might say everywhere in the known world and that is simply stupid. He wandered from town to town in a desert region. And just because the idiots that wrote this bit of gibberish were not aware of other cultures all around the world, does not mean that they did not exist. Morons.

Peter performs some healing tricks and even does the ‘bring an old woman back to life’ trick. She made shirts and coats for poor people.

He sent everyone out of the room. Told her to get up, then brought everyone back in.

And because people are almost always lost in a fantasy and have no fucking clue how the real world works, they were very impressed.

Vs. 43: Peter stayed on in Joppa for many days with a tanner of leather named Simon. EQ.

“So what.”

“Exactly.”


acts chapters 10 - 12