chapter 22

GNB vs.2: “The kingdom of heaven is like this.” EQ.

Just a reminder, when we aren’t quoting the Gideon Bible we are quoting the Good News Bible. Today’s English Version. From The Canadian Bible Society.

I asked my mom to send a translation that included the Apocryphal Books. They aren’t very good. And I suspect they were left out of the Bible because they demonstrated how infantile the stories are. It’s nice to read the stories. It shows the level of logic they were at.

About a four year old level from today. Basic dualism.

Anyrabbit. What I want it to mean is. What is is what is and it is heaven. And it is also hell. Just ask someone who is not permitted drinking water. Or is a political prisoner.

But that’s us. We are hell. Happy to stone our friends to ease the pressure. Perhaps because we believe the liars when they tell us we don’t deserve heaven. So what if we don’t. It is here and so are we.

Another common sermon topic. The wedding feast. The king spent most of 14 billion years preparing his feast and when he sent out the party invitations, no one came. They even abused and or killed his servants that gave out the invitations.

The second time the same thing. So the King sent his armies to kill the murderers and burn down their cities.

Fare enough. We are taught to believe.

Then he sent his servants to the streets to invite anyone and everyone. Prostitutes and tax collectors included.

And they came. But one guy didn’t wear a dinner jacket so they tied his hands and feet and threw him out to the street.

Which just goes to show you. Wear a dinner jacket.

The next one is about paying tax and Jesus shows the Priests the money so they see Caesar. He tells them it’s theirs anyway. If they want it back, let them have it. Our throw them from their thrones.

Then they ask Jesus what about the wife that was married seven times to seven brothers. Who is stuck with her in heaven. That’s the ‘help your brother make descendents’ law of Moses, in case you still haven’t read the Torah. The book that Jesus trashed. Him and John TB.

It’s a stupid question and Jesus tells them that when we are angels we won’t give a fuck about laws, especially marriage laws.

“When you get to heaven. Where do you think you are now, fuck. A bloody test level. Forget death cult Gods. God is the God of the living. Life is God.”

Then the Priests ask more tricky questions to see if they can get Jesus on a blasphemy call.

“Flogging Moses was a bloody Egyptian bastard inbred son and grandson of the Pharaoh of Egypt. And I’m the bastard son of Herod. There are no real Jews. Priests are pimps. God is a bald face lie. Belief is slavery. Religion is for retards. Noah was an asshole. Solomon was an idiot greedy prick. Jacob was a thief and a liar. David was a mass murderer. Abraham whored out his wife/sister.”

Jesus went on and on, exposing the holy horror fantasy made holy by the scum of civilization.

But they didn’t get it on tape.

And Jesus tells them to love God and love your neighbor too. As much as you should love you.

Which is sound advice. Except there is no such thing as God.

Most people have some kind of definition for God. Usually without ever having thought much about it.

Some people say God is everything. It’s nice. Silly, of course. Everything is real whippin’ big. Even if you could say our Universe was one god, it makes hesheit still bleeding big. Figure it out roughly by multiplying 14 billion times light years. So in the end, forget God and let’s talk about the God potential in the evolution of wanna be Gods.

Just a silly question: can God create a universe and be in it too.

Okay. Whatever.

Then they talk about David asking the Lord to help kill people. And Jesus said if David called him Lord then how could he be his son.

Which is stupid and holds no logic or sense.

And everyone knows that Mary was raped by Herod, so the line of David was part of the brothers and sisters of Jesus but not for Jesus.

But most important is the question: so the fuck what.


chapter 23

Left then.

Jesus goes at the lawyers and priests of the laws of Moses with, considering the power of the synagogue 2000 years ago, impressive fury.

You gotta obey their teachings but don’t take example of their vile actions. As in, do as we say, not as we do.

“They practice not what they preach.”

They tie heavy loads onto people’s backs. Stand around in magnificently coloured and gold trimmed costumes, text written on head and armbands. Playing the role of holier than thou comedy where nobody gets the joke.

They have the best seats at stonings, feasts and a high place in the synagogue. They want you to fear and respect them. Call them teacher. Rabbi Rabbi. Greet them with respect above all others.

Flog that. Flog it till it is beaten into the sand.

We will not hold you scoundrels in high esteem.

GNB vs. 13: You bloody hypocrites who lock the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. EQ.

Oh Glory. He’s not done. I don’t mean your narrator. Jesus Christ. He is hopping mad at the priests and lawyers.

You rob widows of their homes. And give them a pompous prayer in exchange.

You cross the ocean to save a soul and prepare it for a hell worse than your own.

Oh woe is you, you blind guides.

You make gold sacred and holy.

You neglect justice and mercy and honesty while dictating the empty law to others.

You pick a fly out of your tea, and ram a camel down your throat.

You selfish blind priests.

You hypocrites appear so fucking holy and nice, yet you are so vile. Like white wash tombs. Clean on the outside and a pile of death and dry bones inside.

That’s all in the original. Your narrator is taking no liberties here.

You kill the prophets, generation after generation. The descendents of prophet murderers. Finish what you bloody ancestors started, you vile slugs of hell. Wipe out every man woman and child who puts your godless laws to question.

You snakes and sons of snakes. Hell is yours.

The prophets come, you will kill some, crucify others, and whip others in the synagogues, bloody hell, Jesus Christ is so cool. Or better said, burning with fury.

This chapter is full out. Read the original twice and get it.

Wealth walks hand in hand with oppression and poverty of body and soul.

GNB vs. 37: “Jerusalem, Jerusalem! You kill the prophets and stone the messengers God has sent you!” EQ.

I wanted to embrace you; you rejected me.

Back to Gideon vs. 38-39: Behold, your house is left unto you desolate. For I say unto you, Ye shall not see me henceforth, till ye shall say, Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord. EQ.

Whatever.

The point is: this chapter negates the hierarchy and authority in religions. And seldom, not ironically, is this preached in the synagogues or churches.

But here it is. In clear text. And it has been included in the Christian religion holy bible. And it makes perfectly clear the warning against the most vile mind disease from which the world suffers.

Religious leaders.


chapter 24

So Jesus left the temple of lies. On the way out, he told his disciples the place would come down. If it takes 10,000 years. Well, to be safe, let’s say 2000. No more passovers. No more murder holidays.

Ha. Now there is a challenge bordering on impossible. We love too much our bloody victories. Over our brothers.

Jesus goes with his brothers up a hill of olive trees and he warns them against false prophets.

Now here is the easiest thing to prophesize if you are thinking of getting into the trade.

We’ll do Gideon again.

Prophesy 101. First lesson. vs. 7: “For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom; and there shall be famine, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in divers places.” EQ.

Well, no pile of dung from the donkey of Jesus Christ. We, the humans, have been at war with ourselves since before we knew it.

Now that is a scary but true thing about us. It will take a prophet with real balls to say forget hierarchy, forget war and plunder and ignorance and slavery. And stop bloody well propagating hate lies as religion. For Christ’s sake. And 300 million different species of animals on this very seldom piece of paradise.

As for earthquakes. The continents are floating on liquid magma. They have been moving and will be moving about for millions of years and there will be and always were earthquakes. And we get hit from rock and ice from space. That is how it is.

Now the next thing Jesus says is a beautiful rope thread and deserves a direct quote and an applause because it is so very true.

I really like this Jesus guy. If people didn’t hang onto having to be saved by him, they could be like him. He isn’t hard. Any character we choose is doable. Sure it’s a little work to stop a charging train that has been racing around the planet several thousand years.

But it can be done.

vs. 8 GNB: “All these things are like the first pains of childbirth.” EQ.

Nietzsche, and others before him, said the same thing when he called on the Übermensch.

People, we are so very much at the very beginning. The universe we are in is relatively young. We truly are not yet on the tit of awareness and we are taught that we can nail down the laws of the one true God. There is not such thing as one of anything. We are in a universe that will soon have very many gods. We could be among that number.

Our descendents. Which is simply religion backwards. Instead of worshipping the great Father figure who knows all and kills those who don’t do what he says. Prepare, and let evolution take us somewhere. Our children are the gods.

In the next billion years we will be trying to explain ourselves to aliens.

“What was it like evolving on your planet, did you have to deal with any dinosaurs or republicans.”

“We are dinosaurs. And we have always been republican reptilians. We have never experienced royalty or poverty. We have never known war or slavery.”

“Flogging far out.”

Don’t say; ‘well eat me’, to alien intelligence. Unless parameters are understood.

“One more question before we jump back to a billion years ago to the present so we can take part in it and prepare for our meeting. Do you republican reptiles like sex big time or real big time. And what do you think of extra-species copulation.”

“We are open to a free party between intelligent life creatures.”

“Well fuck me.”

Oh Mary Helene Magdalene.

We have strayed into the fantastic. Let’s get back to Earth.

I don’t remember the Horror of Daniel. But I can guess, since it is always the same story.

Nebuchadnezzar was another ass. A tyrannical dictator, and at the end of any empire comes a bloody end. So Daniel would have said things like we have in this chapter.

Liars will proclaim they know shit, like on television and in the rest of the media; the medium is new, not the message. People will hate each other, also not new. Even the elect will be fooled by the lies of the religious leaders.

We get enough of this in chapters to come so we’ll move on.

Vs. 34: Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass, tell all these things be fulfilled. EQ.

Now we got a serious problem here. What we have is simply wrong. Unless we get into serious extrapolation.

“Go on then.”

“All right. Jesus, and this is clearer in the original text that has been confiscated by the Catholic Church and rewritten by moaning monks, repeatedly told us we must be born again. And what he was explaining was a very simple Hindu concept and something that is easier to see if one avoids the drug of spoon fed entertainment. Reincarnation. There is only one generation. We are always the same being. Not always the same creature but in a very real way we are one creature evolving and we evolve as a whole. And even the fish are part of that which we are. And when we see and know this we will see things as they truly are. Infinite. And that takes us right back to Genesis. Reach out and take from the tree of life and live forever.”

“That’s a pretty thought.”

And here is a funny thing to get through. Like a clause to let the attentive reader remember, Jesus didn’t die on the cross to be worshipped. He did it to show that he was very against the Laws of Moses and the priests and lawyers and Popes to come. You can kill me. Still you are dead wrong and I see you for the pathetic fakes you are.

Then they tell us Jesus says in the end times the sun will go out. That’s 10 or 15 billion years. We can be somewhere else by then. And the stars will fall from heaven. This won’t happen until they are done flying through the expanding universe. At least 100 billion years. Maybe even longer.

So forget who said what about the end of time. Or the end times. The time of kings and queens is coming to an end. Religion is coming to an end. War and poverty are nearing an end.

We, the angels, are just getting started.

So Jesus is telling of his return but I, you narrator must speculate that he is always among us. For where can he go. And to be a little realistic, Jesus is not, as he wasn’t in the old manipulated and bastardized story, one. He is the voice of many. Or she. Do not look for Jesus to come, look to make the message clear.

“Give it a break.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Much of this chapter is very Jewish like the Torah and it looks so much like a computer generated variation on either or. Love or kill. 0’s or 1’s. Obey or die. But hang on people. Just 13.7 billion years growing pains and already the angel can be seen in the Earth creatures. The soul is being born. The head has emerged from heaven’s vagina and we can open our eyes and see that we are here.

And we can rejoice for we have cried long enough.


chapters 25 - 27