barbaralba's translation of the new testament
BARBARALBA BIBLE

THE NEW TESTAMENT

The Gospel According to MATTHEW

 

chapter 25

Tyranny Oppression Rape and Hate. The holy ToRaH. And Jesus, in the age, one of many, of relative ignorance, wants to crack the restraints. If the story is true. And something like it is always true somewhere always. Someone always says to themselves: Someone has to try something. Stop the screaming and take in some air.

So he tells the story of 10 vessel virgins and one available man. It's an analogy like all his stories. Be prepared. Always. Which in itself is truth enough. In the story the five that weren't prepared lost out. And the five virgins that were prepared all went into the bridegroom.

Which sounds like every mans fantasy.

Then the story about the servants with the money of their Lord and he goes away and 2 have doubled the cash he left them. The third had hid the cash for fear of losing it and fear of the boss who could get real mean on occasions of displeasure.

He gave the two more and the one who did nothing he took all away.

Which is the story. And I can almost hear the preacher's words and explanations. I find it simple Moses logic and let it go.

The rest of this chapter is more Moses logic. Separate the sheep from the goats. Let the sheep graze the fields, make cities and pay taxes.

Burn the goats.

Promise the sheep eternity of bliss, the goats eternal hell.

But we know this is nonsense and Jesus would know too that it was nonsense. Pushing meaning into simple opposites is no longer where we are at.

Matthew was a tax collector. Perhaps he thought this way. Many Jews still do. As do Christians and Moslems.

Life is very quantum. Everything, in its way, is either or. That's what makes intelligence such a curious thing.

We can choose how to witness it. And a scientist and a philosopher and a theologian will all agree. We somehow do make a difference. In fact, at such an early date in a universe, we are simply very brilliant. Already.

chapter 26

"Everything has been arranged. To be dramatic, I will be handed over to the Jewish priests to the Roman military. By my baby brother whom I love and am well pleased. He has always been with me. As have you all."

The top priests and elders plotted his public execution. They knew it was a bad day to do it but it had been arranged.

A woman, who may have been his wife, poured perfume on Jesus to prepare for his burial. The disciples thought the stuff could be sold. Money for the poor.

Jesus told them not to be silly.

Some scholars suspect the disciples didn't like Mary around at all. The wife.

But let us not get lost in details. Details are for distraction. To hide the good stuff.

So, because it had been written, Judas had to ask for money to sell his brother to the bloody priests.

So the Jewish rebels, Jesus and his twelve, go to a friends place to celebrate the unleavened bread tradition Jewish kill Egyptian thing.

"Go to the man in the city and tell him to set a table for 14, 15 if he'll join us. 16 if his wife wants to."

"What man."

"Jeff Jones, the builder."

Jeff was happy to have them as he always was. He gave them wine and bread but had previous engagements with his wife's family.

"Barbaralba."

"What."

"Stick to the story."

"My brother Judas has been chosen to betray me."

Judas cried and lay his head on the shoulder of his big brother.

"Jesus, brother, I wish we could just go away."

"We can't, my brother, we won't be remembered if we run away."

"Why must we be remembered."

"To give others courage to fight Tyranny, Oppression, Rape and Hate."

"They will hate me forever."

"Not when they know themselves. Then they will understand and your name will carry on, little Judy."

So they ate, had a chat, then a song and went on out up the hill with olive trees.

Jesus layed it on Peter that he would have to reject him three times but not to sweat it, the show would soon be over and the battle to keep the priests from plundering heaven would go on.

Peter didn't believe it. Don't worry mate. It was inevitable so pardoned ahead of time.

Jesus lost his nerve a little, completely understandable, and wanted some time alone to think about things. He took Peter, James and John, his cousins and or brothers and asked them to watch out while he flipped out.

He crys out to his father Herod, let it be Joseph or a Roman government worker. Whatever. Whoever. And when he's done lamenting, dedicating his life to fighting ToRaH, such an obvious farce, he goes back to find his friends sleeping.

"Hey, Judas will be here soon with the soldiers, let's look like we show an interest, my friends."

"Sorry, Man. I don't think I'm cut out for this."

"The situation, not me, not God, demands your participation."

Jesus saw the fear in his brother's eyes when he came with soldiers carrying swords and clubs.

"Peace be with you, brother and teacher."

"Have no fear for me my brother. Kiss me like you told them you would and let's get this over with."

"I love you, Jesus."

Someone cut off someone's ear and Jesus told everyone to chill. The thing was being done.

"I am not a criminal. I will come peacefully."

This was what the script had said. The script written by Jewish writers to protect Jewish law and tradition

And I can't get the idea out of my head that the Jews had made a deal with the Romans. Maybe the Romans just took the thing but there is something out of whack with this thing.

There was no real need for the Jews to play their part in the theater if they didn't have an interest. And if you look at the Church, especially the Vatican, nothing is at all different. The priests are still there acquiring wealth and waging war on the minds of the ignorant.

A brutal loss for the poor bastard on the cross.

But he knew his enemy. He simply had no choice.

Anyfish. They take him to a palace. Capiwhatshisname, the high priest.

They wanted an official blasphemy call.

"You will see me in an airplane."

"What."

"Blasphemy."

So they said he must die and spat on him. At least we are to believe they did. It's a pretty jackass thing to do.

Peter does his three denials before morning, then cryed.

chapter 27

Well, Jesus woke up in the morning, though I can't imagine he slept too much. I'd guess he slept a little before he woke. And Jesus would be in a simi trance. Forcing himself to believe it was too late to call it off.

They put him in chains and took him away.

Judas lost his nut. It was all too real, this mad theater. He didn't believe he could bare the curse on his name and hung himself.

Also a sin but we are now in the business of forgiving. He threw the money at the priests, 30 pieces of silver. To finish his part in what the Jewish writers had written.

I think the Jews decided to pretend not to be part of it to preserve hate for when it was needed for war. But they could see the world was big. There were other powers. Christians and Jews are like brothers, both in their genes and in their ways. They will scrap with each other but they will not show their teeth until someone other then Coke or Pepsi comes along.

Oh. Man.

So Jesus stands before Pilate, the Roman Governor. Who actually would prefer peace over unruly hoards.

"So, are you Jesus Christ."

"You said it."

Pilate found it amusing that Jesus didn't answer any of the silly accusations.

Pilate was going to set one of the many waiting for crucifiction, this was a very common way to die at the time, free to make the crowd happy. They wanted Jesus Barabbas.

Now there are people who believe this was the son of Jesus. Maybe. They would rather the son lived. But I don't believe it. Not if Jesus is 33.

And of course they would think the blood line mattered. Which is ridiculous for many reasons. One, the Jews and Gentiles had inter, extra married all through the ages. There is very little difference in the blood lines of any humans on the planet. So forget it. It is detail for distraction.

Jesus wanted to change how we think and behave. He was not going to let the Jews let him go.

The priests got the crowd to cheer.

"Crucify him."

Pilate, accepting some advice from his wife, backed out of the theater.

But he had Jesus whipped and put in the custody of his soldiers.

The crowd, this I don't believe, took the responsibility for his death.

Now the story says that in the governor's palace. Pilate is governor less we forget, then dressed Jesus up in a red robe, mocked him and spit on him. This isn't likely. They likely sat down and went over details.

"It's going to work Jesus. One day people will sit around and wonder about the man they called Jesus Christ. Who knows, one day we might stop beating each other over the head."

"Are you mocking me."

"No man. I'm with you and I'll make certain you don't die up there."

So they walk on up the hill and put him up on a cross. They gambled for his clothes so not to miss any part of the script.

"He saved others but he can't save himself."

"Ain't he the king of Israel."

"Well, ya, he is. But who knows what that means."

Well people, the learned would know of an eclipse and that would make it very possible that they threw Jesus up there at this time for the dramatic effect.

He screams from his pain. Even if he is tied and not nailed. Which also is a distraction detail.

"Esau be avenged. End to the illusion of race. We are all brothers and sisters."

So they gave him his vinegar. A fine drink in the blasting sun. After the eclipse which did not last 3 hours.

Soldiers ripped the curtain in the temple. And some really absurd things like dead people jumping up out of the grave.

They didn't.

The soldiers declared him the son of god. Though he was actually trying to be the father of gods. No matter how long it took and how many times someone hung him or anyone like him on a cross.

Mary Magdalene, so obviously his number one love that she was likely his wife. And Mary his mother and many other relatives, friends and the fans of public execution. Some of them understanding the historic significance of what was happening. Some believing Jesus was making a significant point.

"Stop hating one another. We are all brothers and sisters and have the capacity to love and care for one another and make a paradise of what we are making into a hell hole."

And I believe him.

And I believe he didn't believe he was god's only son. He simply knew it was worth risking his life to change the direction of mankind's pursuits.

Anyrevelation. Joseph, either his dad, or another relative or friend. With cash and influence, grabs up Jesus after 6 hours hanging. It wasn't uncommon to last six days.

And the only way he was going to leave the tomb alive was if he went in alive. It is physics.

He was, in keeping with quantum thinking, either alive or dead when they carried him off to the new freshly cut into rock tomb.

Now that, friends, is an undertaking requiring much money. And man hours. Even if it was only big enough for 4 or 5 people to walk into.

Regardless. Irregardless as our preacher liked to say. His body was not there when they pushed the rock in front of it. (or there was a back exit) Dead or alive. It does not matter now. It did for Jesus and family then. Not now.

What matters is: 2,000 years later, people still have crosses around their necks.

A rather silly habit, but he ain't forgot and slowly we are understanding that what he said, some of it is still true. For other reasons.

It is simply necessary to care when others live under tyranny. In poverty. They are volatile and a danger. And genocide can no longer be an option. We have to start breeding that out of future generations.

And how Jesus wasn't in the tomb is no nevermind.

Either he was up to go on ahead to Galilee or they could simply put it in the story when they finally got around to writing it years later.

It was a definite step. I will admit it and give credit to the story tellers.

But we haven't reached the place to stand still.


chapters 28