chapter 16

Some Pharisees and Sadducees wanted to trap Jesus into exposing himself for the rebel he was. Make him do miracles.

Jesus doesn’t take the bait. He tells them they can see what weather is coming but can’t see the signs of the times.

“You godless people want to see a trick, wait see what happens when you nail me on a cross.”

Jesus does a bread story to show how come no one should think about what the Priest and lawyers say. Lying pricks.

We know now there are reasons better than bread.

Peter told Jesus he was the real Jesus. The one.

This is hopefully not true. I doubt Jesus was the first to question his ancestor’s laws.

Part of the tragedy of this making religion out of stories, even if some things are true, is that Jesus seems impossible to be, unless you have a holy stamp from God.

Well, it ain’t like that. Jesus was anyone. And anyone can say and do as they please if they can get away with it. And Jesus was going for the big take over. Give the planet back to the animals.

It is a common belief hammered into us that we suck. We are far short of being like holy people.

Wrong. Holy is bullshit.

Most of our holy people were and are tyrants. Even Mother Teresa was not holy. She paraded around with the elite and told the poor not to complain about the horrible conditions they were in. Just shut up and die. Heaven is a nice place and you need not look for yours on Earth.

“What.”

“She was a bitch.”

Seriously. I was also fooled by her quiet ways for a long time but all she really helped was the establishment of the bloody Catholic Church.

“That’s not fair.”

“It is a fool who believes.”

Bloody well wake up.

Flog.

Where were we.

Ah, yes.

Jesus explains to them why he has to hang on the cross.

“Look guys. A new religion pops out every day, like a teenager with zits. 4 days before the prom he’s ...”

“Jesus. You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.”

“Right, Peter. Really I’m just another babbling monkey but I’ve got the thing figured out. Now listen up. If we are to sell our story in any form, we have to do up a big promotion. It may take 2 thousand years for someone to hear the meaning of our actions. And that is why the story must survive and I must get up on a cross, get nailed to it at the eclipse, die at the darkest moment. Get put in a tomb and be found gone 3 days later. And the fuckin’ Romans will have to have a new book of bullshit declared holy.”

“But Lord Jesus, you could really die up there.”

“I’ve got no choice, Peter.”

“You do, Jesus Christ.”

“No Peter, I am what I am. Just because the God’s we have been given to believe are not real does not mean that our actions have no meaning. We are a part of evolution that could be something so brilliant. If I die up there, know that I, or someone who believes he knows me, will see there was some meaning in my brutal death.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“Just make sure I get my special vinegar at the right time and it will slow me to a coma. Don’t let the bastards break my legs.”

“Jesus Christ, Jesus.”

“Peter. My dear brother. Relax. If we do this right, neither of us will die before we are really old and wise men enjoying the company of young and foolish women.”

Judas, the little brother of Jesus, dreaded the plan more than anyone. Jesus had told him he was the one to deliver him to the enemy troops.

I missed the part about Jesus giving his disciples the keys to heaven. Key ideas. And that’s sort of true.

Understanding is a long process. It is part of us that we make a story that lasts.

Now it has come to pass that a strange event has taken place that may have some baring on this why was it necessary to have this Jesus on a cross story so violently perpetrated two thousand years. Other than subordination of the slave class.

The real Jesus is hard to nail down. He is a repeat from other religions and fish were part of his story but most importantly, he represented the sun of our solar system. And the hanging on the cross is an astrological event. Now such a thing in itself is of little significance for the creatures of a planet except for just maybe there is some significance in where the solar system is in relation to other events in the heavens. Lest of which is not the black hole in the center of our galaxy. Admittedly, your narrator is mostly ignorant to how anything matters but it is no secret that our solar system has come to the end of being one place and the start of the next place. Don’t let me tell you how it matters but the Jesus that represents the sun has come down from the cross, and or crossed a point of critical, I don’t know what. But we have entered a new age and it will become obvious enough to be perceived as a real event.

And the days of belief and rule of lying tyrants is coming to an end. Just as the story from 2 thousand years ago has told us. If we care to read the fucking thing and see what it is saying.

Religion is a lie. We are here now.


chapter 17

I saw a baseball team in a tree once on half a hit of acid and a few joints.

“Who was on acid, you or the baseball team in the tree.”

“There was no fucking baseball team in the tree. That’s the point.”

So Peter, James and John might have thought they saw Moses and Elijah having a talk with Jesus. More than likely it was Donald Duck and Fred Flintstone. For sure, they were on drugs.

“Let’s build 3 tabernacles. One for Donald Duck, one for Fred Flintstone and one for you.”

“Can you lay off the mushrooms till after the crustifiction, for Christ’s sake.”

Well, just then a white cloud appeared out of the lungs of John.

“This is my son and I like him, listen up to what he says.”

The disciples had had too much wine, mushrooms and grass and crashed face first on the ground. Laughing at their silly fantasies.

“Get up, you drunken drug maniacs, we got healing and hanging on crosses yet before us.”

They looked up and saw only Jesus holding out a joint and realized they had been tripping yet again.

“Where’s Donald and Fred.”

On the way down the mountain Jesus told his brothers no to be talking about the hallucinations they had enjoyed on their mushroom trip. Least not until they had the three-day hiding in a tomb trick behind them.

They asked how come they saw Donald Duck and Fred Flintstone. And Jesus told them John the Baptist was beheaded by the elite maniac murdering ruling class. The same would happen to Jesus. The details would be different but the story was always the same. The men of drunken power were certain to cut down anyone questioning their bald face lies.

There was a little boy having a fit and the disciples couldn’t get him to chill out and Jesus said ‘oh brothers, why are you so shitty with children.’ And Jesus had a chat with the little boy and the little boy told him about a splinter in his foot and Jesus pulled it out. The little boy told him he had seen Donald Duck and Fred Flintstone coming down from the mountain and Jesus ask him to draw a picture for him and in the picture an owl ate a Mickey Mouse and a leaf fell from a tree.

“What.”

“Oh, this fucking what did Jesus do when nonsense is getting on my nuts.”

“But it is important.”

“It is so fucking tedious. Jesus said this. Jesus said that. No one knows what Jesus did or said if he was the sun in the heavens or his name was really Howard.”

“Well, then just leave it alone.”

“For Christ’s sake, no. Religion must die.”

“Then stick to the story.”

Okay, so the kid was possessed by the devil like most little boys are and Jesus said oh man, faith is for fools. Do you know how much faith a mustard seed has.

“Not so much.”

“It has none. And if you think you can tell a mountain to move from here to there you are a fucking idiot. And if you think it didn’t move because you haven’t prayed and fasted long enough, well jump in the lake and feed the fish.”

Jesus was somewhat pissed at everyone being bloody idiots. Then reminded his disciples he would hang soon. For another 2,000 years. But in 2,000 years monotheistic religions would be revealed as a big pile of mind virus bullshit. A new day would dawn. The end of ignorance and belief would pass away as the sign of the fish became a sign of the past and the sign of awareness was upon us at last.

“What.”

Now for you pinheads that think you can pull enough money out of a fish to pay your taxes to the governing tyrants. Guess again. When Jesus says you’ll find enough money in the mouth of a fish to give as taxes what he was really saying is, fuck me. They can eat shit, the thieving murdering ruling class pricks. I ain’t paying no taxes to assholes that use the money of the poor to make wild parties for the rich. Fuck that.

“No. He didn’t.”

“Ya, well, maybe he did, maybe he didn’t.”


chapter 18

“Jesus Christ. Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”

“What kind of an idiotic question is that. Do you measure an apple against an orange. Does a fish question the feathers of a bird. You are so beaten with laws of our ancestors that you have accepted their class system as a thing that is real. Take a look at this little girl. She knows not of what is greater and who sits on what throne. She knows to play games and pretend and for her heaven is not a place locked up by priests who charge a fee upon entry. No. She is a creature of instinct. And when you drop all your silly questions about the bullshit class structure and live like a free animal as only animals and children know how to do, then you will begin to understand the kingdom of heaven and you will not measure the day with the past or the future.”

“But children are stupid and don’t know the rules.”

“Brothers and sisters, listen to what I say. Children are as angels and have a place in heaven. It is through the learning of stupid old religious creeds and silly rituals and random hateful laws that we learn to fear and judge and become petty believers that wallow in the muck of deceit and fight our brothers and fall on our faces in fear to worship lies sold to us by evil snakes that proclaim ownership of God. God is a lie perpetrated by the greedy ruling class. Awaken you fools of faith. Let the children play.”

For Christ’s sake.

They tell us Jesus runs over cutting off bad limbs, hands, feet. Plucking out eyes if faith is in question. And curse be on those who make you question your faith. Well, for Christ’s sake. Jesus Christ said no such thing. Faith is based on belief. Belief is for fools that do not and will not question the authority of the perpetrated lies of the ruling class.

“What do you have against the ruling class.”

“Thousands of years, millions of lives. They will be removed.”

Then he goes on about the one lost sheep story. Also a favorite of preachers. The typical American hero story. A billion humans are starving to death and are being ignored. Millions of women are being raped by soldiers. But all we care about is saving one sheep.

Why. Because we are fucking morons that want to be spoon fed any bullshit story as long as we don’t have to have any part of reality.

Then Jesus says about if your brother sins against you, talk to him in private first. Then if he don’t smarten up. With witnesses. Then the church.

Then tag him a pagan or tax collector.

Well fuck you. There were no churches at the time of the Jesus story. And if there are taxes to be collected then there will be tax collectors and only a few chapters ago Jesus was a friend of a tax collector. Matthew, one of his disciples, was a tax collector. And he often hung out with tax collectors. And fuck you you fucking monotheistic terrorists of dictatorship who slag pagans. Go fuck yourself and your fucking bullshit God religions.

“But pagans don’t even believe in God.”

“Thank Christ. May the pagans inherit the Earth.”

And they tell us people should get together to pray. And for anyone who didn’t pick up on it. Jesus said earlier the exact opposite. Pray in a closed room. By yourself. And don’t make a goddamn spectacle out of your self-righteous silly ignorant rituals.

And then he tells a long simple logic story for children.

A king pardons some rich guy his debt when he begs for forgiveness. Some poor guy owes the rich guy 10 pounds. So the rich fucker who just got off his millions of pounds debt from the king has the poor guy that owes him a little more than nothing, thrown into jail until he pays his debt. So the King found out and threw the sorry bugger in jail. The rich flogger. Until he paid his no more pardoned debt.

Which is to say, the rich fucker was a real asshole. Likely a bank owner. Except then we would have to make the number bigger. Take inflation into account. Account it to the asshole bankers. Money for nothing industry. Rothschield.

A rich bank owner asked the government for several billion dollars of the taxpayers not yet generated money and the government said ya, sure. Give out a few million in bonuses while you are at it. Then the fucking banks kept all the money for them selves and wallowed in luxury, holding onto their piles of money, demanding everyone works for minimum wage to pay the fucking federal reserve bank the not at all payable debt.

Well, fuck that.

We are still waiting for the pricks to be thrown into jail.

Close the Vatican.


chapters 19 - 21