chapter 13

How to diagnose leprosy. If you are a priest and doctors haven’t been invented yet.

If someone got open festering wounds or shit that looks like leprosy, that person gotta see a priest. So the priest can pronounce him unclean.

Unclean lepers gotta go outside of camp.

Here's a cool disclaimer. If your entire body is covered in white death. You are clean. Pure 'cause you are white. Sure, you are likely also dead in that case 'cause you ain't got no skin no more. But you can hang out with the kids.

Scare the living shit out of them.

The original text goes into great gory detail about festering abnormalities on and in the skin.

It's all right for a man to go bald. It ain't leprous if it ain't got no eruptions and shit. And like we said, leprous primates leave camp and wait to die wandering around with other leprous primates. Scrounging for food with crippled fingers. Being eaten alive by rats.

Vs. 45: As for the person with a leprous affection his clothes shall be rent, his head shall be left bare and he shall cover his upper lip; and he shall call out, “Unclean! Unclean!” 46. He shall be unclean as long as the disease is on him. Being unclean, he shall dwell apart; his dwelling shall be outside the camp. EQ.

Fuck 'em.

God must nota liked them. They did a sin.

Spend your resources on war and priestly depravity. For God's sake, don't take responsibility for the learning of a disease and the finding of a cure.

No fuck wit. Believer.

Make some more laws and weapons. Science and medicine are in opposition to keeping your bloody fingers from the tree of knowledge.


chapter 14

The handling of Lepers.

Vs. 2: This shall be the ritual for a leper at the time that he is to be cleansed. EQ.

If a Leper ain't a Leper no more. Or he wasn't. He can be cleaned with the blood of a bird. Mix in water. Add live bird. Sprinkle bloody water seven times on x-Leper. Set the live bird free. Wash clothes. Shave off all hair. Leper takes a bath.

This should work. Bloody well should if the Lord told Moses to say so.

Don't go in your tent seven days.

Shave again and give the priest a lamb or two to be slaughtered for your guilt, sin and whatever. Do the blood on right ear, thumb, toe; jump up, spit in the air, spin around and scream.

"Moses is a fuckin' asshole."

And just a reminder, Moses likely never really existed. He is part of our character sketch. You, me, them. It is part of how we are. To be just a little optimistic. Were.

vs. 34: When you enter the land of Canaan that I give you... and I inflict an eruptive plague upon a house in the land you posses… EQ.

Some rules for weird growths in the house. Similar to everything else. Drop the shit outside the city. Replaster. Slaughter a bird, add water, dip another bird in it, set the bloody not dead bird free and sprinkle bloody water on the house seven times. That should fix it.

Sprinkle blood on everything to make it clean and pure.

The most important thing is: have many rituals that are bloody holy and stay bloody ignorant sheep, goat and cattle herders forever.


chapter 15

vs. 2: When any man has a discharge issuing from his member, he is unclean. EQ.

Clean everything and everyone he touches or spits on.

"Watch out. Here comes Billy with his drippy penis. He's spitting on everyone."

If Billy spits on or in or pisses on or in or even touches a clay pot, break it. And grab up some birds to slaughter. Sin offering time.

If sperm comes out of a man's penis, he gotta take a bath and he is unclean till morning. Sorry. Evening.

If he fucks his wife or slave, they both gotta take a bath.

When a woman bleeds out her vagina, she is impure. Seven days. The man can touch her but then he is unclean till evening. And no sex during bleeding from vagina, just forget it. Not permitted. Touch for the agreed taxes to the priests but don’t fuck.

Kill a bird and burn it. Or two.

"I'll kill any fucker who don't obey."

And don’t forget, God, the Lord God Almighty said, do not take from the tree of knowledge, for if you do, this will all seem bloody fucking idiotic.

And you may forget to believe and forget to obey and forget to follow and forget to pay.



chapters 16 - 18