chapter 04:

I think it's important to see what happens here. Moses is on the war path. Propiganda and cheep tricks to manipulate his people and terrorize the Egyptians.

To make his claim that he's God's main niger, he learns a few magic tricks. The old stick into a snake trick with a snake. The old hide a glove in the shirt trick and the pour water on dry red sand trick.

But Moses could talk not so well so he cut his brother Aaron, who had studied public relations and stage performance, in on the Propiganda campaign.

So Moses said good-bye to his father-in-law.

God said, "Get back to Egypt, those wanting you dead are now dead."

Thank God.

So Moses sat his wife and kids on an ass and with his magic snake and disco glove, went to Egypt.

God, no, now it's the Lord. Maybe God is the thing what we all got ranting in our heads and these Lords are War Lords. Real live humans. With big scary looking, shiny metal human slicing swords.

Or maybe it's just a stupid story and there were thousands of Israels all over the place. Just one family story of many.

Anyhow. The tricks were just silly. The Pharaoh had better magicians. The Lord knew they would not let Israel go without a fight. That's what Lords, War Lords, are all about.

And Moses and the Lord told 'em.

"We're gonna kill all first born boys."

Back then fairly common procedure.

But the Lord was pissed with Moses and tryed to kill him that night. So catch this, Zipporah took a flint stone and cut off her son's foreskin, touches his legs, scrotum. And proclaims, "You are my blood bridegroom. So the Lord goes away. And she says, "A bridge groom of Blood because of Circumcision."

I think what it means is, don't drink Newfy Screech in the hot sun.

Aaron and Moses kiss in the wilderness. Moses told him the plan. They told the elders. They all did their show for the Israelites.

God was back.

chapter 05

So Moses and Aaron popped in on the Pharaoh, "Our God, the Lord, says, let my people go party in the wilderness a few days."

"Fuck that. You think you're in a fuckin' resort or what. You're fuckin' slaves."

"We gotta make sacrifices or he will attack with pestilence or sword."

"Moses, Aaron, get back to making bricks. You are our work force. You out number us. Who the fuck will build and run our cities if you are all out chopping off each other's foreskin and cutting up goats."

The Pharaoh was so pissed at their insubordination that he told the task masters and foremen with no foreskins that the fuckin' lazy Hebrews can gather their own straw for bricks.

Get the shirkers to work so they ain't got time for stupid God stories.

Finding straw enough fast enough was crazyness.

A day runs into the next eventually and you still ain't got all the goddamn bricks baked.

So there were many beatings.

General unrest.

Things were worse and everyone was crying and complaining.

The foremen were super pissed at the Levite brothers. The incest boys. So Moses went and complained to the War Lord.

"Why Lord. Why must it be worse for my people. We do like you say and still we ain't allowed to go away."

chapter 06

"Hey, Moses. We'll show the fuckin' Pharaoh. I'm Mima, the God of your direct ancestors. I'll take you to be my people, we'll breed you 40 years and start fighting for the promise land.

I will make you into a mighty army."

The Israelites didn't buy it. They were too beat from too much slaving.

The Lord told Moses, "Go tell the Pharaoh to let you depart."

"I can't talk very well. Let's get Aaron to do it."

So the Lord talked to Aaron too.

The original mentions the names of the important to the Hebrew, Hebrews for Hebrew freedom movement. Note the incest in verse 20. Amram married his aunt Jochbed. Mom and Dad of Aaron and Moses.

This is not healthy people.

Marry outside of your family of flesh. It is better for our gene pool. Give us a chance to evolve.

Moses reminds us once again of his shitty speech. Complaining again to his Lord.


chapters 07 - 09