chapter 34

Now Dinah came by so Shechem raped her. He liked her, the daughter of Jacob. Shechem told his dad, "Get me this girl as a wife."

Jacob heard about the raping but waited till his sons came home. Shechem's dad came for a visit. Jacobs sons, getting wind of the developments, came in from the fields. They didn't like it.

Hamor, that's the raper's dad, said, "My son wants your little girl. How 'bout it. We can share sons and daughters a little. You can hang out with us. If you go for it you can ask whatever bride price you want. Anything and everything."

Jacob's son told him that their sister won't be fucked by uncircumcised men. That was too disgusting, what with all that cheese under the foreskin. If the whole town didn't cut their cocks, they'd take their daughters and go.

Hamor and his son thought that was a good deal. They went and got all the rest of the men excited about the merger of the two people and penis cutting.

On the third day, when the men lay about in pain, Simeon and Levi came into the city with their swords and killed all the men. Hamor and his son Shechem included. They confiscated their flocks and herds and asses, everything they could carry inside and out of the city, the children and the women.

Jacob told his two sons they might be causing trouble with the Canaanites and Perizzites. And they had not enough men to hold them all off.

They answered, "Should our sister be treated like a whore."

chapter 35

God sent Jacob to Bethel to build an alter. One for the God that appeared when Jacob was running from his brother Esau. Jacob told everyone in his stead to change their clothes and get rid of their alien gods. Jacob buried all the alien gods and ear rings. Terror from God kept other cities from attacking Jacob.

Back in Canaan with his people, Jacob built an alter and gave it a name.

Deborah, Rebekah's nurse, was buried under an oak tree. She was dead. That too received a name.

God dealt out a few more blessings.

"Hey Jacob, change your name to Israel."

Thus was it.

"I am El Shaddai
make some babies
A nation, a bunch of nations
shall descend from you
kings will come from your scrotum
You can have the land that Ab and Isaac had.

God left. Jacob piled up some stones, oiled them and gave it a name.

Off they went to Bethal. On the way Rachel had a baby and died. Luckily, it was a boy. Benjamin. They buried Rachel and piled rocks up again. Israel went on.

Reuben had an affair with Bilhah, his father's mistress. Israel got the news. So what. (I was just wondering why Israel failed to call himself a king)

Jacob, who's name was Israel a sentence ago, had 12 sons. To keep things strait: Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issacher and Zebulun. From Rachel where Joseph and Benjamin. From Bilhah, the maid: Dan and Naaphtili. From Zilpah, Leah's maid: Gan and Asher. That's the lot of them from Jacob. Father of one of the biggest kingdoms on the planet.

Jacob and Esau buried their dad. He was dead.

chapter 36

Esau, also named Edom, and who knows what else his friends might have called him, had many descendents.

He took his wives, sons and daughters and animals and what all and went away from Jacob. In Seir was more space.

Esau was Edom. Not to forget.

Edomites are the line of Esau, named Edom. They had names and were many. They were all clans. The list can be noted in the original.

Note also the Kings. When one died, the next took over. All Edomites or Esauites, it doesn't much matter. They were there; they lived and died.


chapters 37 - 39