chapter 19

The two Angels, or Lords or whatever they were, went on down to Sodom. Lot persuaded them to stop in for a feast.

So many men came and shouted. "Let us fuck the two new guys."

Lot went out and said, "No, don't do it. How about 2 virgin daughters."

"We'll do as we please, you're a foreigner and we don't pay heed to foreigners."

Before they could get any ass cheeks apart to perform the favorite rite of Sodom, a blinding light messed them up.

The angels told Lot to take his family and hit the road. The shit was about to hit the fan. None of Lot's family believed him. Lot didn't want to go. The angel Lord fellow took him by the hand, him, his wife and two virgin daughters and dragged them out of the city.

"Run for the hills. And don't look back."

"But no, I might die, how about if I go to another town."

"Whatever, just go."

They called the town Zoar on account it's good to have a new name for any little towns the angels and lord don't destroy.

The Lord set sulfurous fire upon Sodom and Gomorrah. Chemical warfare was already in vogue with the Lord, lords and angels, and we've seemed to have lost track of God but I'm sure he had the weapons factory. The cities, all the cattle, pets, plants and surrounding fields were annihilated. Thank God. Lot's wife had a look back, even though she was already in another town, and turned to salt. Which came in handy for preparing meats. Wives were cheep back then so it was not a bad deal.

chapter 20

Ab was back on the road with the sister story. The King Abimelech was thinking of doing her up but then again he couldn't get it up so he didn't and God, now God's back on the scene, said he'd have to kill everyone. God's favorite past time was killing people. And the king said, "But I didn't know Sarah was his wife and anyhow I didn't fuck her. "

"Okay, give her back and I won't kill you."

In the morning they asked Ab what kind of a dirty trick he was up to. Ab told him he thought they'd kill him if he was married and anyway, she was a half sister so it wasn't really a lie and usually he gets lots of things when he sends her to have sex with kings.

So Abimelech gave Ab sheep and oxen and slaves. And the wife back. He told Ab to take as much land as he wanted and gave Sarah 100 pieces of silver on account rich women weren't considered cheep sluts. So God thought that was nice and everyone started getting pregnant in the king's house. And that was a good thing.

chapter 21

Now Sarah had a son. Likely from King what's his name. Issac was his name and at eight days he got his foreskin chopped off by his dad.

Sarah laughed because she was happy. Happy her husband didn't kill the kings baby.

The child grew up and was weaned and they had a party.

Sarah said, "Tell the slave son to get lost. I don't want him having any of your money."

God told Abraham to do as Sarah said. But not to worry, he'd still get famous.

So Hagar and the kid took a piece of bread and wandered in the wilderness of Beer-sheba. When the water can was empty, she left the kid under a bush. She didn't want to watch it die.

God heard her crying and asked what was up. He told her to get some water from the well nearby. So then her son grew up to be a bowman and Hagar got him a wife from Egypt.

Ab gave Abimelech shit for stealing a well but they had a discussion. Ab gave him some sheep and sent seven ewes somewhere and they made a pact to be friends. And Ab lived in Philistine a long time.


chapters 22 - 24