chapter 04:

Now the man did up his wife Eve and out came Cain. And a little while later popped out Abel. Abel liked sheep. Cain was more for digging in the dirt.

Cain and Abel took presents to God but God, being a bit of an ass, showed no never mind to Cain's.

Cain took it personally and went around with a long face.

He said to his brother, the one God liked more, "let's go for a walk in the field."

So they did and Cain killed Abel on account he didn't want no competition for the God thing.

And so the lord asked, "What's up Cain. Have you seen your little brother."

"Hey, I look after grain, not little brothers."

"His blood is on the ground."

"Well, he must be dead."

"You are not to till the soil again, you go walk around. And don't stop walking."

"But what if someone wants to kill me."

This is a bit odd, thought God. Only Adam and Eve and Cain and he's worried about being killed. "Okay Cain, if someone kills you, I'll kill them seven times."

"That's good to know."

Suddenly the planet has a wife to offer to Cain, they did sex and had babies, they did the same and someone starts going on about killing someone and then killing a boy and seventy-seven.

Adam got back into his wife and had Seth. "Oh good," she said. "A replacement for Abel." And Seth had a son.


chapter 05

Many people had kids. Where these wives came from was hard to say. Somehow I think Adam and Eve weren't alone at the Start. The Start billions of years after the other start. But that's not important. The thing is somehow, other people didn't really exist and we end up with Noah.

Noah had Shem, Ham and Japheth.

chapter 06

Men began to increase on earth and they had daughters. When the divine beings saw how sexy they were, they took some. And God said 120 years was enough to live. Mephilim appeared on earth and that's when the divine beings had sex with daughters of men and they had really great babies that became super heroes.

God saw how wicked man was. Everything they did was horrible. God saw that making humans was a big mistake. One has to be careful when one creates a creature to be a slave to his whims. "I'm going to wipe out everything on account I'm sick of it all."

But God liked Noah and told him, "Look, Noah, I'm going to kill 'em all, but if you want to make a boat, you'll be okay."

"What's a boat," Noah asked. They didn't have boats in the desert. One doesn't use them like one would if one lived by the water.

God gave him the blue prints, told him to take a couple animals of each kind and wait for the rain.


chapters 07 - 09