john rah essay

Wild fucking holy shit. I am an empty vessel. No idea what to report. Sexually obsessed. Trying to focus. On anything. This isn't a confession.

I don't believe in definitions.

Still, she would have to be crazy to want me. Even if she does love me.

_duck stop_

Still ain't inspired. So we'll keep it short. No more than 63,000 billion, then we wipe it clean, even, or especially if it is perfect. For if it is perfect, we can leave it for nothing to swallow and spit out clean again. A new virgin universe. Quick to disperse, slow to progress. And somewhere, sometime, I won't remember having thought to write something exactly like this once or ten million times before.

Because it is just speculation. All of what we know of it.

Other then it is. And we are, people like me, who know what I mean. Know.

This is heaven.

If the string of word proof don't do it for you, learn to see angels.

I'd explain how but if you don't believe such a thing, the explanation will be silly. And if you believe it, you know our language doesn't really have the words to.

Make it clear.

But for certain, love does play a role.

By being.

_duck stop_

Inspiration is little more than sexual hunger.

Unless it is something different. Which is possible. The need for oral satisfaction. Obsessive compulsiveness. Wanting to touch and be touched by angels.

_bunny stop_

Fools and idiots, territorial soft skinned beasts.

Not that it's a horror. Just I can't see without her. The her in me that's the fantasy ripping into the world where I long for physical touch.

I'd love to be over whelmed and nearly smothered for a day of two, not too infreakwently.

And feel skin on my skin, soft and real.

I've a few more things to say then I take some time off from writing. Make music or money.

Tolerance, I mentioned recently. I have none and I don't like it when someone tolerates. They've got no business being in a position to tolerate. Most of the time. I put up with people being stupid if I can't avoid them. I be fucked if I tolerate it.

Tolerating is usually done from ignorance. Someone tolerates some foreigner. Sorry, you can like 'em or not. Don't go to the trouble of putting yourself in a position that gives you authority to tolerate.

Accept. Things and people. They may think or do differently.

You can tolerate a dog or a screaming kid.

Tolerating someone 'cause they can't help it is usually something like racism.

Or fascism.

Or totalitarian police state one mind set obedience to merchant dictatorship.

You don't gotta understand or believe anything.

If you can tolerate being an idiot.

_bunny stop_

When it comes to the bottom line. I'm in it for the love. Perhaps I am writing so I can see it.

Ich liebe dich.

_bunny stop_