Letter to Krissy:
albatross_part - 4th book of a letter to Krissy.
If you aren't Krissy, who are you?
Forget any secret codes.
albatross_part_05

Anyhow, now then, it’s night time very late. This is the third time or forth that I’ve had nothing to say but have anyway. Jose Wombat, our profit of the 90’s and into the next millennium, says: Some people talk to hear themselves and those who don’t get enough of a chance ‘cause they are too tedious or whatnot, well, they can write it all down and maybe someone’ll read it one day. They might not as well. And that’s okay ‘cause like Jose says: Fuck me. Anyhow Krissy. Tell Tauqir we’ve got a proper glass for his Weißen beer now. One problem with forei- the pot boiled over- oh yes. Foreign words have other things. I’ll have to use the German keyboard when I type this out.

So let’s try something more wise and witty, this rambling shit isn’t so pretty. In case I haven’t mentioned it before, because of the fact that I’m a good friend of Jose and he’s a profit and I’m pretty clever even saintly, those who work their way through my works will be more blessed even than if you read the bible or play Led Zeppelin records backwards. Did you know in Stairway to Kevin if you play it backwards, it’s not so good for your needle. And you might hear: ‘I wish it would snow bishop.’ Which is pretty evil and "My sween sadin.’ Which really gets those god freaks. So they want you to bust your LPs. There in cahoots with the CD people. Anyhow, I played ‘Jesus is our one lord who destroys all bad people who don’t like to be as we are’, backwards and I’m sure it says: ‘chicken fucking is fun, blowing a goat is better, send all your money to Orson Wells, when they meant what’s his name there in the states, you know the guy ‘Something good is going to happen to you on account Jesus of Nazareth is passing your way’, or god will take him away. Or did he say that forwards. Oral Roberts was his name. Likely still is. And he’s likely still getting idiots to send him money to build his city bigger. If there was a god, and I’m sure Oral knows there ain’t, he’d drive a truck up Oral’s ass and park him in hell. If there was a hell. Which of course there ain’t unless you count a caucus meeting. But what was I going to say. I’m lost for an idea and I want to hurry and write as much as I can in the hope that something good will burst out. Krissy. Do you still like me? Most girls do. ‘Cause I’m so sweet.

So these three bears walk into a bar and order drinks and the bartender says, I’ve no idea what he said. Who the hell would know what to do in a situation like that?

I’m going to stop now. There’s nothing flowing form the wells of. Whatever.

_bunnie stop_

One minute it’s raining then the sun pops out. And it’s doing it for days. And though I’ve been up only 2 _ hours, I’m dead tired. If Wiebke goes out, I’m going to sleep. And I’ll see if I can’t write about my dream. I’m going to have to do something today. Well, that’s it for now. My brain’s as fleißig as a cow. It’s not the word I want. I wanted an English word but couldn’t smell one tow three four what are we fighting for. Some of my biggest excitement is watching plants grow. I’m not trying to be funny here, It’s actually true. I can’t be as tired as I am. It must be the drugs. I’ll have to do less.

_bunnie stop_

What’s in a Shirley Temple. Orange and Grenadine? Doesn’t matter. I know how to make a Long Island iced tea. That’s something people don’t drink much here. A couple weeks ago someone asked for one at the bar where Wiebke works and I told them how it was done. Annette thought is was so yummy she made one for the three of us.

That’s a pretty philosophical rant, na? They say ‘na’ here like we say ‘ah’. The ‘a’ is short ‘e’ is like ‘a’ long. ‘I’ is like ‘e’. The vowel shift. The English did it. But since you’re a linguist kind of a chick, you likely know about that stuff.

I like being clean and having clean clothes. I didn’t take off my T-shirt from Friday till Monday. I wanted to see how slimy I could get. But the shirt was thick cotton so it wasn’t bad. Brian and I went for weeks at a time without proper washing when we did our nine weeds in the mountains. The best adventure holiday of my life I must say. We even had a night where we built a raft our of drift wood and rope. We thought we were pretty smart. Most of it, well a little of it, I used in my first novel. I’ve had some pretty excellent canoe trips as well but only a week or so at a time. You don’t get the chance to do that here. You can’t go too long before you meet the next town. But that’s okay. Everything is okay when you’re drunk.

Which I’m not. Can’t remember last time. It wasn’t in Germany. I’ve only been extremely drunk a few times as a teenager. Really stoned a few times as well. It doesn’t compare to canoeing down Tim river and coming face to face with a bull moose. Or jumping out of a plane. Or a two hour drive on motorbikes, night through Napoli. Or having a booked published and sold. Which is what I want next.

As Jose would say, ‘Most everything is impossible but don’t let that stop you from trying.’ And I think he’s right. I can’t give up now. I’ve only been at it 20 years. But I think it’ll be soon. It’s gotta be.

Well everything is too sensible in today’s or tonight’s attempt. It might be better to give up. Certainly on this vain. Perhaps I can force out another vain. If I hold my breath, I could force out a vain in my head. J.P. who may be dead, though I’m not sure, though I know Ralf died, showed me a good trick of pressing the palms of your hands against your neck till you pass out. He asked the doctor if it was okay. Apparently, it wasn’t so dangerous if you weren’t standing on a cliff or in front of a Jehovah witness. Here’s a leap. Watch for it. I’m about to slag a religious group. Nah. That’s tedious. I should slag someone or something though. It’s expected of me. Did I ever mention that when I slag someone or some group that doesn’t mean I don’t like them. Some of my favorite people are Christians, like my whole family. I’m likely so antichrist because of it.

Maybe I’ll tell a bible story in their horror. Honor, ich meine. Not really. Once upon a time there was dick all. Maybe just one word. The word of course was fish but in a funny language so that it sounded like God. And the word was in such a state that a world popped out and then they or it tossed a universe in and separated light and night and plants then animals and Adam and he was horny so Eve and they ate apples and fucked and had kids that killed each other and Moses took his people out of Babylon and killed lots of women and children and goats and someone was salt and God tortured Job for fun. Everything was pretty fucked so he made Jesus to give the Romans a chance to fuck up the minds of idiots all over the western world. Then came Jose. And he said onto his people. ‘Let it be known that everything that came before was just a warm up for the one truth what I’m gonna give ya. And anyone that dares say a word against me is a lying evil prick and will burn worse than in hell and it’ll be bloody cold to boot. And many shall come and say evil things against me, and Steve my one and only true and wise disciple. Those people will I spew out of my mouth like dog piss. Lands will rise up against other lands. One land will have riches while a neighboring land starves. Dog shit will fill the streets. People will invent really amazing things like walking computers that can give you free sex. People will walk in darkness and not pay heed to my word because they will be well entertained and not even stop to listen to the word. They will be plagued by evil circumstances that hinder them from even knowing of my word. Those will be those who in evil intent will hinder my word from the best seller list. Some languages may not ever receive a translation. There shall be car crashes and hundreds of thousands will die unaware of their ignorance. Popes will tell you to be Catholic, others to be Moslem. They’re are all antiJoses. They are blind and have evilly rejected the truth of Fish. They are a sorry lot and are all destined to rot. For a s sure as the sun one day shines and the next day doesn’t, all things will come to pass and be forgotten. Man’s own past will be lost. People will watch TV and not read books. All these are signs that the one true way has been rejected for lies of delusion and denial. For those who read my word and understand, they shall be blessed with the light of wisdom. Go yea into all the world and insist to those who are your brothers and sisters in love to read my word and reject the lies of all other evil belief. For only Jose can save the world from despair and disaster. There is not time for idleness. Action is



the rest is yet to be typed from the written word.



by Joanne B. Washington

read on. barbaralba_part_01



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