Letter to Krissy:
albatross_part - 4th book of a letter to Krissy.
If you aren't Krissy, who are you?
Forget any secret codes.
albatross_part_01

Book 4

Here we are on the first page of the 4th book to Krissy. I should start with something snappy and wacky. "Never fuck a chicken in public.” or "Always stare at the sun.” are impressive quotes from Jose, the second actually first said by Geoff alias Stoat.

But aside from that, I think I’ll leave it for another day. Today being about the 18th of April, 97.

We went to the zoo today. A beautiful sunny day and few people there. I always have an uneasy feeling about imprisoned animals.

_bunnie stop_

It’s still today and we’re about to hit the hay, as they say. I was just thinking of an old friend. Very long ago, I lived in London, Canada that is, on a street with many Italians. This friend was Italian. His name I think was Tony but I’m not sure. He told me, and maybe I told Franny this ‘cause it made a strong impression on me, one day, Easter Sunday or the day before, that his father had given him and his brother both a dollar. They were going to go to church on Easter Sunday and his Dad told him it was his chance to spend his dollar. My mom, when I told her the little antidote, thought it sweet how they learned the value of giving. I thought it a little twisted. But I never was a big supporter of clubs. And I wonder what ever happened to him. Whatever happens to all the people you meet in your life. What happened to Popena, I wouldn’t know how to spell it, she’s likely a woman of my age now, unless she fell into a timeless zone. What are we going to do about this getting old and never seeing anyone again thing? Eat more carrots, for one. And try maintain some health so that when we retire, for those who have worked, we’re strong enough to sit on a park bench and shoot the shit. I was trying to have a funny line here to lighten this drudgery but I think I’ll just pack it in.

_bunnie stop_

One thing I can’t have is people telling me I’m an idiot because I don’t do something the way they would do it. There is always more than on way to do something. How’s the saying? "There’s a hundred ways to skin a cat.” Did you know that if you give a fish a hard clout on the back of the head, he’ll be somewhat dead? It saves on the knowledge that he’s still looking at you when you chop his tail and head off. Brent says you can put a lobster to sleep by massaging the back of his head. I don’t know if that helps that lobster or not when you drop him in a pot of boiling water. Some people think it’s a little mean to do such a thing. But the same people eat hamburgers and a steer goes through some miserable times usually before it metamorphasizes into a hamburger. Many suffer death in transport. I’m not a big beef eater anymore. Never was so much but I don’t eat hamburgers here and it’s not certain where the BSE is these days so I don’t even by a couple slices of roast beef at the supermarket anymore. They tell us the German meat is fine but I feel better when I stick to things with feathers or fins. But I couldn’t turn down a steak off a barbecue. Pig meat is most popular here in Saarland. I think cheese is a thing to avoid when possible. And sunburns. It was sunny today. We sat by the river. There’s a park that runs most of the way through the city along the river. The city Autobahn as well. So you always hear autos. I got 3 calls from Canada this week, my parents, which isn’t so unusual, they call most every month, Tauqir, haven’t heard form him since he left and Clayton, first time as well. Clayton says he has a large letter for me that he started 1984 but he meant 1994 since that’s closer to when I left. It’s odd sometimes to think I’m so removed from Canada. I have no idea when I go for a visit. I don’t know if I’ll ever move back. I might like to but I can’t see it. But I can’t see most things. I certainly didn’t ever know about Saarbrucken before. I think they should bury the Gardner Expressway. It cuts the lake off from the city. Bryan said a businessman offered to foot the bill if he could have the commercial rights to the land that would suddenly be there. Our city is one Baustelle, construction zone. In case you didn’t notice, I’ve no rave today.

_bunnie stop_

I was just thinking of Dave as I write with this book on Wiebke’s head here in bed. It was my impression, for that is what he wanted to give us, Brian and I, that he fucked his 13 year old niece. She seemed to think it was okay from the look I got from her. She was the house maid as well. People are strange.

I also thought of our ride with the two Indians. The passenger said nothing and the driver said much. He told us how the Indians would one day come back. He showed us his knife. We didn’t react to it in anyway so he passed it back to us for inspection. He showed us how quick his passing gear was and before dropping us off, explained where he lived and that we could come by if we came back that way and we could do some fishing.

Pass the mescaline, please. That’s about it.

_bunnie stop_

This book is getting off to a slow start. I was thinking of the tall fellow who wasn’t such a bad dancer who played in the orchestra. The Laurier orchestra that traveled to Germany. I wasn’t in the orchestra because Mr. Bolt didn’t like me. I didn’t mind ‘cause I had enough to do with the band and the stage band. For me, the stage band was the most fun. But anyhow, this one fellow, I think he was a string player, had two bottles of white wine from the Rine or Mosel and five people with him. For some reason, he thought because he had the wine, he was the chief. As the chief, he decided there was only enough wine for 5 and I was the one without a girl along, besides himself, so I was the load to be jettisoned. I will never forgive him for his unfounded meanness and though I think of him seldom, don’t know his name and would likely never recognize him, I hate him and the horse he rode in on.

It’s funny how some things are so branded in your brain. I could list a thousand things that I often have ready at a flash. But my life is no more relevant than anyone else’s so I’ll not bother you with them.

_bunnie stop_

It’s just a little later and I was thinking, but now I forget ‘cause whenever I sit to write Wiebke wants to ask me questions. I don’t like so may questions. Oh, I was thinking of Alan, he used to pester me in school. He’d make me angry. But I don’t hate him. I know now that he didn’t know how to show affection. Or something like that. He liked me, I don’t know how much or in what way but when he phoned me one day a few years later to go play a game of tennis, I was quite surprised. "What, you bug my ass for years then want to…” I didn’t say that. I was afraid he wanted my ass. I’m not homophobic but I didn’t want him sexually interested in me. I can think of some men, though not many.

I was thinking of jail. If I knew I didn’t have to get fucked up the ass, I sometimes think I’d like to do a year of two. Or something like it. Maybe a private martial arts teacher somewhere in a mountain. I don’t like being told what to do but if I was instructed what to do, I could see doing it.

Then the question comes, why not do it yourself? And then I wonder also why not.

_bunnie stop_

I’m not happy today. I can’t communicate with my wife. She seems foreign to me. She doesn’t seem to hear me. Tauqir is here, so we’ve had a little fun. Maybe we’ll have fun in Amsterdam. The place doesn’t interest me as it does others since I don’t smoke pot. Sure it’s great to be able to sit in a café and roll a joint but it does nothing for me. I’ll let you know if we have fun or if we get a divorce.

_bunnie stop_

We’re almost finished this Ubersetzung(translation). Wiebke translates into German and I type. I’m a pretty good typer, considering I’m not even a secretary. We’ll make a few marks on the job. 1 or 2 thousand. That’s pretty cool if we could have one ever so often. Hein said there might be others if we’re good. Mostly if Wiebke’s good.

It’s the 2nd of May and I cut all my hair off except for half a centimeter. It looks good. Markus moved to Dortmund or somewhere in the megatropolis. And it’s 25°C today. Not now ‘cause it’s night. Maybe I send Geoff a list of bikes. Well, so you’re caught up. Did I tell you Tauqir was here and we took him to Amsterdam where we left him. We had a couple days of looking at the city and hanging out in coffee shops. It’s quite unusual to be in a city where you need not be a criminal to smoke a joint. I don’t usually do such things anymore but it was such an easy feeling there that I tried a little just to be part of the party.



by Joanne B. Washington

read on. albatross_part_02


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