This is a letter to Krissy. Krissy is a lovely friend who disappeared from my life after I wrote her too many letters. I don't blame her. I wouldn't want to have to communicate with me if I didn't have to. It is better to read my work without having to respond to it. Some states have already forbidden my writings. But I don't care, they are simple minded dullards and can piss off.

It starts off where I left off with Franny. It explores new horizons and includes other stories and guest appearances from Jose Wombat. It is a handbook on life. A must be read book for anyone that wants more out of life than television situation soap operas. It was written while I was happily married and avoids unpleasant references to women. It will be the only letter of its kind from this author.

Farmer's Report: Don't know where this guy knows so much. Most people ain't got so much smarts all at once.

Wild Women Weekly: I wish I was Krissy. We all do.

Psychology Tomorrow: It's too late for help, but as long as this man is kept behind bars, he should be allowed to write. It makes for very interesting reading.

Oral Robert's Oration: Something good is going to happen today. But not to this fellow. Rather than give good money out to get this book, send it to my foundation. I need 8 million before next Tuesday or God will give me a rash.

Popular People: This is the best book ever. Three cheers. Everyone should read it twice. Even if it bothers them. I find life so much better now.

Doomsday Digest: Proof that there is no hope. At least not for this man. Madness has consumed his soul.