This is a long letter to Franny. If this was inspired by a real woman, her name would really be Francisca. She would be elegant and beautiful and like most women I know, impossible to understand. It's better that way.

The letter starts with typical ego deflated confusion. It doesn't take long before it evolves into madness touching on the subjects of many different beliefs, esoteric insights (something that is very popular these days), the weather, fish, religion, and I can't remember what all. It is a perfect book to read several times. An excellent book to give as a present to someone you hold in high regard. A book to study and wonder about the condition of man. A book to collect wisdom. A book that one can open anywhere and be just as confused as if one had read it from start to finish. It will soon be one of the most talked about books of the next millennium.

This is what some of the critics had to say:

Philosophers Quarterly: Letter to Franny is a work of art buried in a pile of dung. Such a waist of a fine brain. Genius is so often a troublesome mutation in our mutilated media society. It is well worth the read.

Free Choice Tribune: No comment. Self explained.

American Christian Chronicle: If the Church had the power it should have, problems like this would be eliminated before they go public. God doesn't like such flip insubordinates. This man better not come to this country.

Anarchist Analysis: Brilliant. This guy takes the piss out of everything in such a beautiful art that one would want to elect him as president. He stands on nothing and grovels through the swamp of uncertainties with his nose to the grindstone. Idiot or genius. What's the difference?

Rock Report: Most of this stuff is a bit wacky but it can sure be used to make some way out music. The breakbeatpunk band from Greenland, Chemical Crownland has adopted many excerpts as text in their new album. Law suit will likely follow.

Deutschland Heute: Ei gut. So kann mann das auch sehen. Aber ohne Drogen?

Financial Weekly: Don't ask me why I read this? I don't know what it all means, but it was interesting to read. I have it in my bathroom now and read a few pages every morning. It helps me face the day.