back to 01.07.02

maybe i read it in a dream that he had nothing to eat those forty days but what the angels brought him.

i don't think it matters if jesus existed, the story does and believe it or not, it has changed the world.

tell me we don't hold the tool of magic. without lying.

someone who wants to change the world with his life comes along every day. there is a problem if we believe only one of them.

i've spent up until a couple years ago refusing to believe in angels because they had been perverted, as has the meaning of magic.

i often think of our english teacher. though we had a few, you already know who i mean. an angel. it would be a lie not to let her see that one as her could only inspire love and admiration.

and it is the what is that should be happening, seen from the evolution of a mind, intellect. wisdom. pretty far out stuff for a universe which seems extremely environmentally unfriendly.

i don't know. i think we make our own meaning. and since life always makes mistakes, we have to postulate that us too.

your guess is as good as mine.

white trash rock 'n' roll. sometimes a little ignorance is also good. fuck is getting to be a tedious word. the meaning all fucked out of it.

i knew it.

i've avoided doing things i should want to be doing for one more day. because something has to be first. even if this is as far as it goes.

fuck. i love writing. like i like it when a young woman smiles at me. perhaps i'm a fool. i doubt it though. i've still got my head after digging my way out of the fuckin' tunnel.

i go back to enjoy it's darkness. but i always remember which way is up and find no shame in calling out to an angel.

i've seen it so often i have no choice but to believe.

not in a dictator god.

in us becoming them.

it has long since started. you tell me what's real.

always john rah