chapter 22

I had the feeling that I was fucked while sitting dry in my chair. Someone with a blank face was explaining to me that I was not who I thought I was. They gave me time to ask questions and when I didn't, they continued.

They had used my father's semen to fertilize the egg of a woman biologically my mother. And there was something significant about this woman. And they were not telling me what.

They showed me a video of a few of my fights while I was AWOL. They weren't interested in my petty crime, they wanted me to see me. They showed me the pimp fight in slow motion.

"He was a slug."

"He is one of our agents."

Bullshit, I call bullshit on these proceedings.

They explained the kinetics of my motions and the dynamics of my hits.

"So what are you telling me."

"We have the patent on your muscles and nervous system, including what's in your brain."

"I saw that on TV."

"What did your father tell you before he left."

"Not to talk to strangers."

I was starting to get it. My Dad knew something he wasn't supposed to know. And I was something I shouldn't have been.

They thought they owned us. That it was for us to bow to their authority and proceed with their plan. Something my father had obviously figured out and not liked.

They made a few things as unclear as possible. So they might not have to believe they were giving me any real information. Just a fucking smoke screen.

I knew where to look when I finally got back home to my mother who seemed to have no idea. And my brother, who knew I was looking for something.

chapter 23

Esau knocked on my door before coming into my bedroom.

"What's going on, Anny."

I stood up with the old tape I was looking for and slid my hand down my half brother's paints and wrapped it around his penis. He twitched. It was his body and mind in conflict.

"You are surprised but not appalled."

He kissed me. He kissed me like a lover until he ejaculated in my hand.

"I think Dad said something to me when I recorded him on our last trip to Florida. Do you want to watch the tape with me.

"I can't believe I want to have sex with my sister."

"Oh, come on. It's not so unnatural. And anyway. Apparently, you are my half brother."

"That's still, what."

"I think I am a project. I don't know if it is what they were hoping for. They seem mostly interested in my genes. But something much weirder is what scared Dad away. So do you wanna see the film."

chapter 24

"I think, Esau, my dear brother, that the state does not consider us against them. It's a question of evolution. The state, being the voice of big business, the mighty corporations. We are too obviously up shit creek that the words of Nietzsche must be remembered."

Esau smiled, much of what I knew, came from him. So he was happy to see me rant to him and my life mother. The one that took care of me after someone else breast fed me.

"Our mistake is that we hold in high esteem those who think similar and we should hold in high esteem. At least in acceptance as an intricate part of any healthy system. Those who think different. Those who will let instinct and evolution direct their actions."

Mom was thinking about Dad. How he would have enjoyed eating with his family. Watching his kids take a real interest in life.

I was fairly certain that he was in South America. Where, I might find out in Italy where my real mother was known to have lived.

And that information I dug out of the story he told me on our Florida trip. We did 3 days of Disney. It was all right. Like being in a real fairy tale. That's where he hid the Italy reference when we were eating Ice-cream.

South America was obvious for some other reason. Partly the reference to Guyana he gave the camera when he told me stories about NASA and their somewhat totalitarian control of space.

Was America asking too much.

"We want everything. So we can burn it."

"What."

"We are still amazed with our control of fire. It is necessary to update the system. It has to happen now. Esau and I have to go to Italy."

Mom just looked at me.

"I think it has something to do with protocol. In general. And there is a team being made and once you're in it, you can't go back."


chapters 25 - 27