barbaralba's translation of the new testament
BARBARALBA BIBLE

THE NEW NEW TESTAMENT

Paul's letter to the TITUS

 

chapter 01

vs. 2: God, who does not lie, promised us this life before the beginning of time, 3. and at the right time he revealed it in his message. EQ

This is sort of true. We have to change God for the universe. And not all universes are the same. But those with life are more common. And this may seem crazy but it ain't. Someone else can explain it.

I'm sticking to this universe for now.

We have the elements necessary for life. Visit some star clusters and there will be no life. There aren't enough heavier elements.

But we got them here in our Milky Way. And chances don't need to be one in a billion, and we'd have life. And life will be us. The gods.

And we might have been gods in a universe now dead.

But such a universe as ours has many offspring.

We are inevitable.

Which is like a promise. Of eternity.

vs. 10: For there are many, especially converts from Judaism, who rebel and deceive others with their nonsense ... for the shameful purpose of making money. EQ

vs. 12 "Cretans are always liars, wicked beasts, and lazy gluttons." EQ

A Cretan said that. It don't make it true. However.

chapter 02

Paul perverts Jesus.

Women don't be drunk slaves to wine. Or pharmaceutical chemical downers.

vs. 5: ... be good housewives who submit to their husbands ... EQ

Slaves. Do your work.

And do not follow religions.

chapter 03

And what did Edgar Allen Poe say. "The world won't end in a big bang but a whimper." Something like that.

vs :1: Remind your people to submit to rulers and authorities, to obey them. EQ

Not.

That's about it for Paul.

We need not bother with Philemon. But we will. For the fuck of it.


philemon