barbaralba's translation of the new testament
BARBARALBA BIBLE

THE NEW NEW TESTAMENT

Paul's first letter to the GALATIANS

 

chapter 01

Paul starts out his letter to the Galatians in a slightly different tone. Now he is a little harder on the Law. He still ain't very friendly.

vs. 9: We have said it before, and now I say it again: if anyone preaches to you a gospel that is different from the one you accepted, may he be condemned to hell! EQ

Well, Paul. Go fuck yourself. That ain't the gospel. Jesus didn't use the word hell. You are selling your gospel.

vs. 12: It was Jesus Christ himself who revealed it to me. EQ

No he didn't. Jesus was not a founder of churches. He taught that the Kingdom of heaven is at hand.

This is it. Man. Woman. Child.

vs. 16: I did not go to anyone for advice. EQ

Why not, Paul, do you think you have nothing to learn.

vs. 19: I did not see any other apostles except James, the Lord's brother. EQ

Here is a question out of the blue for millennium three. Is anyone not a descendant of a King.

chapter 02


Back to the foreskin question.

vs. 4: Pretending to be fellow-believes, these men slipped into our group as spies. EQ

Well, Paul. What the flogging hell is the big secret. Do you have some kind of sexual desire you don't want anyone to find out about. Jesus didn't have any secrets.

vs. 11: But when Peter came to Antioch, I opposed him in public. EQ

That ain't very friendly. Why didn't you go sit in a little café and talk man to man.

vs. 14: "You are a Jew, yet you have been living like a Gentile, not like a Jew. How then can you try to force Gentiles to live like Jews?"

And do you still play the trumpet.

vs. 16: ... For no one is put right with God by doing what the Law requires. EQ

That is doubly true. On account their ain't no God that we gotta be right with. And law is made by the criminally insane.

vs. 19: ... I am dead - killed by the Law itself... EQ

That's good for a point.

"What am I at, Jesus Christ."

"Numbers are of no matter. My insane friend."

chapter 03

vs :1: You foolish Galatians! Who put a spell on you? EQ

You did, motherkiller.

vs. 10: Those who depend on obeying the Law live under a curse. EQ

Paul, what's up. You trying to make a point.

vs. 13: "Anyone who is hanged on a tree is under God's curse." EQ

That's a neat Law.

"Anyone with a bullet in his head is under a curse."

"Anyone with a sword through his head is under a curse."

"Anyone run over by a train is under a curse."

"Anyone who straps explosives to his body and blows himself up in public is a curse."

"Anyone who makes the 3rd world their slaves is a curse."

"Anyone who rapes the land is a curse."

"Anyone that poisons the home of fish is a curse."

Paul goes on about Abram and Jesus being the only descendent that was blessed. The rest blind fools.

Not very nice, Paul.

vs. 19: What, then, was the purpose of the Law? It was added in order to show what wrongdoing is, and it was meant to last until the coming of Abraham's descendant, to whom the promise was made. EQ

If anyone is looking for a topic to do their theist on. This is a good one.

Did Moses have help. Since he wasn't real, we'll have to say yes. He had writers writing the story. And those writers were some of the most educated scholars on the planet.

They were being paid by the state. And the state represents Law. Priests and Lawyers.

But the writers must learn things to be good writers. And some of them would have had children.

Four thousand years with a hard law is not long. Two thousand years to work our way out of it is also not long.

We might be making much better progress than we can imagine. Don't forget the laws of Quantum.

Think of Religion as mind training.

And we might get out of it looking real flogging good.

(If anyone want's to react to any of this with writing send it to barbaralba. Only rule is there has to be hope.)


galatians chapters 04 - 06