steve howard's update of the new testament
BARBARALBA BIBLE

THE NEW NEW TESTAMENT

Paul's first letter to the CORINTHIANS

 

chapter 07

vs. 1: ... A man does well not to marry. EQ.

Paul don’t want anyone getting married if they can avoid it. He also don’t think anyone should make babies. And we just die out. Just about the opposite of what the Catholic dictators say.

“What do they say.”

“Same as the Lord of the Torah. Fucking make many babies so we can have big armies to slaughter any bunch of nations that have come from a son of the Ark builder who saw his Dad naked.”

“God made his fools multiply so that he could kill them all.”

“That’s what God likes best.”

vs. 6: I tell you this not as an order, but simply as a concession. 7. Actually I would prefer that all of you were as I am... EQ.

Impotent. I don’t wanna be like Paul. Sure, if you don’t wanna get married or have a sexual relationship, don’t. Enough do. When it comes down to it, it is not a bad idea to not rush into making babies. Take some time to understand what you want to do in life. We live longer than we used to. There is no need to have children before you are good and ready.

vs. 18: ... he should not try to remove the marks of circumcision... EQ.

How the hell can circumcision be undone.

vs. 21: Well, never mind... EQ.

vs. 19: For whether or not a man is circumcised means nothing... EQ.

vs. 28: But I would rather spare you the everyday troubles that married people will have. EQ.

vs. 31: ... For this world, as it is now, will not last much longer. EQ.

Dadaism. Jesus laughed.

Paul is hardly one to be a marriage advisor. He hates women and he hates sex. Because he was impotent and was envious of those who could simply enjoy the very natural act of having sex. Sharing physical attraction and love.

But decide that sort of thing on your own. It is a very natural thing to have sex. Every creature does.

Let us look at the other question in verse 31. This is a common theme for death cults. The world is about to end. And it has been about to end since the advent of death cults. For some cultures, it has ended. But the world, the planet, will not end soon. The games we play end and we start new games like the old games. So in a way the world is always coming to an end. The dark ages have come to an end, though it’s still a little hard to notice. The life of the planet has another five billion years of good conditions, if we don’t kill it. After that it will end. Dry up. Get eaten by the expanding sun.

If we figure out how to regulate the temperature of the sun in that time, the earth will last even longer. And that is not out of the realm of possible.

If we choose to, we will be living on moving worlds called star ships. We will no longer be dependent on our sun. We will also be traveling to other stars. And if we make this step into space, which we will if we choose to, and we have already started, there will be humans, angels, living all around the Milky Way.

For now it is science fiction. In a few million years it will be what is real.

And almost no one will be born on the planet earth and many will wonder about the history of the little planet that hosted one of the most amazing, and sexy, creatures in the universe.

A grand celebration of life evolution.

What happens after the Milky Way is settled. After we have evolved into something beyond human. We’ll have to stop waiting and decide.

Eventually we will make contact with the creatures from Andromeda.

“You don’t think we’ll find other intelligent creatures in the Milky Way.”

“There are other intelligent creatures on the planet earth. There is bound to be one or two places like earth in the Milky Way. It may take millions of years to find them.”

“It may take billions of years for them to evolve.”

“Most of everything is still unknown.”


chapter 08

vs. 4: ... we know that an idol stands for something that does not really exist... EQ.

That’s not always true. Many idols are made in the image of something that is real. Such as an owl or a goat or a cow. And these images are used by many as idols. In fact, Moses was very big on bovine idolatry. Check out the details of his alter and it is very close to that of the alters of Moloch. The folk he liked to slaughter, the Canaanites, also used the goat. They were also fans of the bovine. And sometimes the owl. In modern times the owl is used as an idol for those with an affinity to Moloch. The ruling class of America seem to like the owl.

Now this of course does not mean that the goat or cow or owl is a god. At least not such that one would want to worship it. And that holds true for any idol. And it also holds true for symbols. Such as the star of David or the cross with Jesus Christ nailed to it. It is all forms of idolatry and a far cry from what is real.

So, though Paul would be pointing his finger at his own religion, he has a point when he says idol worship is silly. And since there is no one true god, we might speculate we can, under the authority of Paul, which we don’t need, come to the conclusion that worship is dumb.

“For morons and mad men.”

“For lunatic and losers.”

“For suckers and sadists.”

“For boneheads and boozers.”

Vs. 6: yet there is for us only one God, the Father, who is the Creator of all things and for whom we live; and there is only one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things were created and through whom we live. EQ.

Paul is getting confused. Again, Jesus Christ was not a lord, he was a teacher. And he was not at all partial to Lords. And though the word Lord is more symbolic than real, there are still many who like to be called by this name.

And the story goes, God created the heavens and the earth. Which ain’t true but Jesus Christ didn’t come along until a few thousand years after the start of the Jewish fairy tale.

“He was a figure in older religions.”

“Okay, but we are focusing on the story of this one, three.”

And if there is only one God for those who wish to believe there is only one God, it does not mean that in reality there is only one God. And even God of the story says you shall have no other Gods before me. And the voice of God was the voice of the ruling father. Such as Abraham or Moses or Jacob. And this is where we can begin to unravel the story a little. The story tells us that the father is the boss. And this is our standard model of a family. Big and small. Patriarchy. In very simple dualistic terms. Obey or die.

“Sometimes obey or torture.”

Paul uses the word ‘created’ and ‘one God’ fairly often. This is the theme he and the other father figures want to sell us because it is the theme of patriarchal obedience. When monotheistic religion is boiled down to the bones, it is the marketing of a system of holy dictatorship. The ruling class is the ordained by God overlords and the slaves have the choice to obey by means of law and religion. Or violence. Or die.

“Or a mix of it.”

vs. 9: Be careful, however, not to let your freedom of action make those who are weak in faith fall into sin. EQ.

He’s talking about what is okay to eat and when it is not okay to eat those things if someone else thinks it’s not good to eat those things. On account they might think they will go to hell or something worse.

“Which is mad. Infantile and insane. Underdeveloped precognizant attempt at simple thinking.”

“Simply put, the holy books are pathetic.”

“I think the ruling class, the unimaginative, myopic gold gluttonous warlord and slave drivers are ready for retirement.”


chapter 09

Paul thinks he can wear us down with his running ‘round in circles but we know the end of him is near and the acid trip of John awaits us as a reward for our perseverance. We are also certain to find a few more diamonds of truth on the way.

If not, we dig a few out of the blue.

vs. 5: ... by taking a Christian wife with me on my travels. EQ.

“It don’t say he actually had a wife.”

“Maybe he didn’t. Maybe he just wants to make the point that since other apostles had a wife he could have too. But really, it doesn’t matter. Moses had a wife and left her out of the story as soon as he was Lord over the slaves he took from his father.”

“Why he dump his wife.”

“Because he was raping the children of the parents he slaughtered.”

“And that was more fun.”

“It is if you are a mad ape.”

Paul seems to be justifying his actions to the Corinthians. He wants to convince them that he is Paul the Super Jew. The model of self-debasement and self-sacrifice.

He tells them that when he is with Jews he is a Jew so that he may win the Jews. When he is with Gentiles he does the Gentile thing. For the same reason.

Even if there is no difference.

And when he is with the weak he also pretends to be weak. He is anyone but himself.

“For he does not really exist. He is a character in a fairy tale.”

vs. 22: So I become all things to all men, that I may save some of them by what ever means possible. EQ.

Oh, Paul, you tedious fuck.

“Maybe he really is the devil. The great charlatan. Fooling everyone by mirroring what it is they are.”

“Very possible.”

“Except the devil is also a character in a fairy tale.”

He goes on to say he doesn’t expect to be paid for preaching the Paul creed. He does it out of the good of his heart. Even though, by rights, since everyone else benefits in some way from the work they do, so should he. If life was at all fair. Which it is for everyone but Paul the Super Jew.

Vs. 15: But I haven’t made use of any of these rights, nor am I writing this now in order to claim such rights for myself. I would rather die first! Nobody is going to turn my rightful boast into empty words! EQ.

“Wrong. That is exactly what we are doing.”

“Read it and weep, you wining little bitch.”

Vs. 17: If I did my work as a matter of free choice, then I could expect to be paid; but I do it as a matter of duty, because God has entrusted me with this task. EQ.

“Well, bad luck. God was a lie of the Lords. The overlords of the men’s club. And we, the association of animals and angels have taken it upon ourselves to make your outrageous creed null and void.”

“Maybe if he’s the devil that’s what he wants us to do.”

“I think any intent beyond stay ignorant and obey must be recklessly extrapolated.”

Let us drop our silly ape creeds that were made in myopic ignorance of anything beyond a little piece of desert and evolve our language and the spirit that comes with it. The magic that is born out of the brilliance of the real. A thing that is becoming. We have only a few silly fairy tales to lose and everything to win.

And one more time William Blake: “If the doors of perception were cleansed, man would see things as they truly are, infinite.”

“That is a lot bigger than any silly ape creed.”

“You can bet your hairy ass it is.”


corinthians chapters 10 - 12