chapter 13

Peter played a few beautiful songs on his trumpet as the crowd made themselves comfortable on the hill. When they were attentive and waiting for my words, I stood up and told them an analogy about a woman that sowed seeds everywhere she went. Some fell on rock and didn't take root, some amongst thorn bushes and were chocked out at the roots, some fell on arid land and the young plants were burnt by the sun.

"But my words are not my words. They are everyone's words and I have had the luck of being born curious, like an animal and lucky enough to live in relative freedom. And my family could afford to send me to school and later university. I spent 14 years studying the religion of our forefathers. The religions Rome has collected and the beliefs from the west and the east.

The University of Rome had great minds from around the known world and we all came to the same conclusion. People from all over will believe any trash you sell them as long as you kill those who don't.

But these are laws of men, written by men for men. Propigated by men in holy dress and metal swords. Their law is a lie.

Their nobel commandments are all bloody obvious. Anyone can figure out do not murder. Anyone could if they weren't always a soldier fighting their neighbors.

I have come to you sowing the word of hope. Put it in your language so we will never forget. So that in 2,000 years they can read about a time and a place where the seed took root and we started to believe in us.

Let me tell you a story of when I was a young man. I was going to Cairo to study and before I went, My father Joseph."

I waited for a few people to laugh.

"Took me to see my Grandparents. Grampa Jacob was one of my favorite grand parents as a child. He understood me and I understood him. We sometimes did math problems together. Things grown ups in university needed to learn.

Dad suspected I was a clever boy so wasn't too surprised that Grampy and I liked working on theoretical problems.

The Torah was the ultimate question for me. But I've told you that story.

Dad and I were walking on the beach having a conversation when I mentioned I had a sore on my lip and if I had the salve my friend often had, the sore would go away before it broke open and became painfully annoying.

About 40 steps after my not so accurate description, I saw a small jar of the salve on a rock.

'There it is.'

Well, I didn't stop to think and my dad watched as I skimmed the top layer of the salve off and wipe it on a rock, then I took a fresh bit, never having see the air, and put a little on the corner of my lip.

'What's the chances of that.'

'I don't know. But I'm glad it was sitting there."

When we got back to the house my father told Grandfather about what had happened.

'And you still don't believe in the God of our Fathers.'

'No. I can't believe.'

Well, my Grandfather smiled like he is now as I tell the story. He smiled like he knew then that though my road was not short, I would travel the one set down for me.

And I always remember this smile. Then I thought he might have thought to himself, he will find God.

I didn't find the God of Moses. I found me and life forced me to do it. Every time I attempted to run in a different direction, life beat at me until I returned to being true to my own heart.

And that's where I found God. God wasn't a scary monster that killed the enemy and our own bad people. God was right inside.

This my dear friends is the secret to the kingdom of God. Each and everyone of us has God in us. It is our will. And with our will we will be real gods.

It won't be today.

Today we are angels. And we are young angels. But we are also as old as the universe and I'm going to get a friend of mine up here. You may remember he had a crippled hand in the synagogue."

Some people laughed while they applauded Karl.

No one asked where he came from. They watched his every move and hung on his every word. They were stunned to hear the Earth was neither flat nor the center of the universe.

They were just as stunned when Ekstein came out of the crowd and started talking mathematics to show that the stars were evidence that the universe was much older than the start of man's writing.

"Truth will tear you from your shackles and set your mind free. When your mind is free, the universe is yours."

I went up to close out the meeting and I heard my stomach rumble.

"We have had much food for thought. But we can't live with thought alone. Let us eat together. Talk amongst yourselves. Feast on life."

"Jesus, how do we eat."

"Use your fingers, like everyone else."

chapter 14

My disciples and I were coming back from a long road trip where things had happened that we had trouble believing.

There was a madman in the mountains screaming all the time at pig herders.

"Take your pigs off the mountain. The mountains are for goats. Pigs are our brothers and should roam free on the flat lands."

"This is not a Jewish mountain and if we want to raise mountain pigs it is our business."

The madman had heard of the King of the Jews and knew who I was when we walked down the hill and wanted to pass him and the two pig herders with about 20 skinny sick looking mountain pigs.

"Jesus Christ."

"I'm right here, Man. No need to scream."

"Oh. No one ever told me that before. Are you proposing that if I talk like a reasonable man I can better reason with these pig herders."

"I can't promise. At least not about pig herders in the mountain. It smells to me like some kind of weird cult. But in most cases it is better to retain one's urge to lash out at one's surroundings if one wishes his surroundings to commune with him. So that instead of fighting against life, you embrace it."

"I like you, Jesus. You sound like a sensible man."

"You have a good soul, my friend. I can see it. You must know the real enemy. And fight with love. It sounds crazy, I know. But it has been tested and works always better than hate."

Well, the pigs went crazy, we thought they were all possessed. Absurd in Heinzeit but they scared the Jesus out of us for a moment. Then a black cat the size of a baby camel ran past us so close to my face that I felt its fur on my face.

The pig herders ran away, the black cat ran away slowly with a mountain pig in its jaws. And the pigs broke their legs trying to run down the mountain. Searching like the voice of hell as their flesh ripped on rocks.

"Well, that is the strangest thing I saw today."

We all looked at Peter than broke out laughing. It was a laugh of relief. The cat could have killed any of us and during the whole event we just stood and watched.

We laughed until the mountain pig herder came back with all their brother's and sister's and uncles and aunts, who looked to be often the same person. One big dumb face chewing out the same grunting sounds.

"Do you understand them, Mountain Bob."

"No, Man. I've lived here 40 years and when they go off in their tribal chants they make only one thing clear."

"What's that."

"Anywhere else is a better place to be."

"Do you know another way down this mountain."

"Where do you want to go."

"Back to Galilee."

"Galilee. I have an uncle there. I will show you the most beautiful way to Galilee."

And he did. Mountain Bob took us to a beautiful lake where we camped and he caught many fish. We made bread from the flour we bought in a village we had come to pass through.

We all knew and didn't need to say:

"The kingdom of heaven is here with us tonight under this big black sky."

Because we knew it. And we were it. And people who could see, saw that we were it.

"Jesus, where have you been. My child has died from morning."

"I'm certain she is just sleeping."

"Come and breath some life into her, dear Jesus."

"I will. I'm on my way now."

Through the crowds. We no longer staged healing. Anyone looking for a little attention came up to me and touched me.

Mostly children.

"Heal me, Jesus."

"Okay. Little boy, what's you name and what's the trouble."

"Barnie and I got a monster in my head that climbs out and sleeps under my bed."

"Oh, I know that monster. I have one just like him. I thought if my foot went over the edge of the bed he would eat it. Is your monster like that."

"Yah."

"You know what I did to find out if he really would eat my foot or he was just teasing me."

"No, Jesus."

"I waited till my little sister was asleep and I pushed her foot out and watched until I fell asleep with my head on my sisters bare bum."

"And did the monster eat her foot."

"No. But he tickled her toes and made her laugh and she farted right in my ear and I fell out of bed and the monster laughed at me. So I laughed at him and he jumped right back in my head and he is one of my best friends."

"I'm going to do that with my sister."

"Do that Barnie. And don't forget to laugh at your monster. That's what monsters like most."

"And tickling my sister's feet."

I put him down and picked up the next kid.

"Jesus, stop with the kids, the man's child is dead."

"She's not a child. And she is sleeping. And after a trip to the lake she will feel better."

chapter 15

Charus had been shocked at the lack of medical knowledge and application in our campaign territory. With money and support from Rome he taught basic medicine and set up little clinics in many of the villages.

He made us carry olive oil to rub on people with dry skin. Tell them to stay out of the hot noon sun and drink lots of water.

Quite simple but many didn't know and any kindness we gave them really was enough to make them feel whole again. It made us really believe in our campaign and had Karl not talked about the heavens so much I might have forgotten that my time was coming and I had ignored the priests and the synagogue for so long I had forgotten my job of insulting them.

"It is insult enough to show how little effort it takes to change the lives of the poor."

"To make them strong enough to use as an army against them."

"And it will be the most arrogant of all armies for it will march with no weapons of murder but the weapon of understanding. We will simply no longer believe them. Like in tribes of our forefathers. Ignore them until they fade away. The slowest and most patient torture that allows the new soldier to love his enemy and be patient with their ignorance."

"Shouldn't we just blow up the temple."

"I love you, Fau."

"But no explosives."

"Not yet."

But it was time to talk about it. The campaign had been started many years ago. I had been wandering with my disciples fulfilling more prophesy then we could handle.

Now I had to prepare for my death.

I took James and Peter up on a hill to meet with Charus and Arbard. They were both hung over from the all night party.

"You two sit here and chill and keep a watch for any hoard of Jews with pitchforks and torches walking through the night like lost sheep. Keep the fire going so they can find us."

"Really."

"Yes, really, this is it boys. Tonight's the night."

"Oh, Jesus. Did you really send Judas to bring the priests."

"Peter, you must drink less, listen to what I tell you. But most important. You are a brilliant trumpet player and the world needs a little beauty."

"I hear ya, Jesus."

"I don't know if you do. But you will."

"I love you, Man."

"You too, brother."

Ekstein had a new robe for me, white, like they were in the east.

"You have to make a good impression, Jesus Christ, King of the Jews."

"Have we solved the Herod problem."

"You will be taken to Pilate. He is actually looking forward to seeing you."

"We'll have time for a dinner tonight if Judas would get his lazy ass here."

"I see their torches."

"Okay, you better go. I'll see you tonight. Tell Pilate I don't eat pork. It's a superstition thing but I don't care."

"Be a Jew, Man. It's us that need it most."

"Okay, Ekstein."

"Good luck, Jesus. Be Gentile too."

Peter and James had let the fire go out.

"Jesus, we saw you with Moses and Eliah."

"Are you drunk. Can't you keep the bloody fire burning."

"Sorry, Man."

I helped them get the fire going and we talked about the big parade we had made the day before. People throwing their robs down, jumping up and pretending to be healed and finding it funny and finding funny they were healed from so many of their ailments that we were so unbelievably high when we went into Jerusalem and layed in on the synagogue. Kicking over tables, calling the priests the hoard of thieving, lieing snakes.

We were still laughing when Judas showed up.

"I'm glad to see you are having a good time while we wander through the wilderness looking for you to have you crucified."

"Well, my dear brother, all the more that I should enjoy my last day with my friends."

"Last day, my ass."

"Kiss me, Judas."

"Okay, Teacher."

And it came to pass that we went to town, inside the great Jewish city, and the priests handed me over to the Romans who took me to a cell and locked me up, told the priests I'd be safe there till morning. And when the Priests had left, Pilate came to take me to a small dinner party he had arranged for the King of the Jews.

They roasted me before the food was served, then insisted I lead them in a few rebel songs.

"Jesus, you've got balls. I'm happy to be the man to let the Jews crucify you."

He laughed and laughed and there was a real since of protocol between long lost cousins.


jesus chapters 16 - 17