chapter 22

I do what I want, because I have no choice.

We all have silly habits.

“Especially nuns.”

One of mine is that I almost always don’t eat the last piece of the cone when I eat a ball of Italian ice cream.

“Why.”

Ultimately, because my father doesn’t. He had a reason. His was that he once found a bug in the bottom of a cone. There is no question that I have made it a ritual. In honour of my father. And I will most likely always not eat the end of an empty cone. But I won’t make it into a religion.

Ludicrous Lukas would have us believe Satan made Judas betray Jesus. It was decided for him. Jesus made him do it. And this isn’t meant in jest.

How do I know.

I was there. I visited on a probability time machine. It uses the fundamentals of math. They had a light snack of wine and crackers. Not a Jewish Passover feast that requires the singing of songs to praise the mass murder of every firstborn Egyptian. And an often forgotten point is that Satan is a euphemism. Maybe even for penis but we won’t suggest that now.

Anyhow, it was decided that Judas should go get the priests and bring them to him. It was a planned event or Jesus would not have been waiting around for it to happen.

But they tell us they argued about who would do such a thing and who was the greatest of the twelve. And Simon, also called Peter was told he would deny Jesus three times but later would get back on the campaign.

vs. 38: ... “Look! Here are two swords, Lord!” EQ.

Jesus didn’t walk with swords and he did not go with swords to hand himself over to the priests whose synagogues he had been preaching in for three years. Luke would have us believe Jesus had been in the synagogues his whole life. Not possible. He had to come out of Egypt.

He was a teacher. Trying to explain to people that the kingdom of heaven was at hand.

Luke says when Jesus was up on the olive hill praying, he was sweating big time.

Vs. 44: In great anguish he prayed even more fervently; his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground. EQ.

Like. Or as the Gideon says: ‘… sweat was as it were …’

And if a preacher tells you he sweat blood, the preacher is lying to you.

Judas led the priests to where Jesus was waiting for them. And his disciples had fallen asleep waiting for Jesus to finally be taken away so the show could take the stage.

Luke tells us someone cut off someone’s ear and Jesus put it back on.

Not true. The ear wasn’t cut off. You need to carefully sow ears on.

Vs. 51: Then Jesus said, “Enough of this!” He touched the man’s ear and healed him. EQ.

And then he asked the priests why they come with weapons for Jesus was not an outlaw. And he was in the temple every day.

They took him and the cock crowed for Peter and they got Jesus to admit that he was a messiah and that was enough to have him crucified. At least it was enough for the priests. And when it comes down to it, he was being crucified for questioning their authority.


chapter 23

Most humans take it as a personal attack when they are told their ancestors used to walk on four legs.

I can almost understand that. We are special. God must have made us in his image 6,000 years ago. But really, a tribe made a horror story with God as the overlord ruling tyrant in the image of a Jewish priest.

In real reality, we stood up, like many animals do, to see more of what was around us. To better prepare our selves for all eventualities.

Such as maniac primates slaughtering the planet.

Or lions. Or food moving on four legs.

Those that didn’t stand up didn’t start throwing stones. And the ability to throw stones demands a good brain. The use of our hands led to manipulating tools and controlling fire. Controlling fire led to a better diet.

The priests tell Pilate that Jesus was doing activities that they deemed inappropriate. Propagating the idea that people should think. And have heaven here and now.

“I don’t know. Seems well within Roman standards and we are Rome here.”

“You think you are. There are 648 Jewish officials out there that want this man dead.”

“How ‘bout a good whipping.”

Pilate learned that Jesus was a Galilean and sent him to Herod. Herod, the half brother of Jesus. But there likely was little love between them.

Herod thought the whole thing a little funny. King of the Jews in a Roman world. He wanted Jesus to perform some miracles for him. He had many questions but Jesus did not answer. Eventually he put a robe on him and sent him back to Pilate. And Herod and Pilate became friends.

As if that somehow matters.

“Maybe it does. Jesus, even in his custody, was helping people get together.”

“That’s stretching it.”

Vs. 20: Pilate wanted to set Jesus free, so he appealed to the crowd again. 21. But they shouted back, “Crucify him! Crucify him!” EQ.

Now Luke doesn’t mention the big parade of Jesus coming into Jerusalem on a goat.

“Ass.”

“Colt over the coats of his fans.”

Even with this exclusion, there is never one hint that the crowd that had loved Jesus up till here would want him dead.

And for those who haven’t learned to read you might miss this bogus inconsistency. This is a plot shift with no possible bridge. It is simply not the least plausible.

Oh, ye with brains, do set them into motion.

Instinct abhors slavery.

“No it doesn’t.”

“Beyond insects it does.”

vs. 44: “It was about twelve o’clock when the sun stopped shining and darkness covered the whole country until three o’clock.” EQ.

No it didn’t. It has been shining billions of years. It’s a big ball of fire. It cannot be shut down for 3 hours to give total darkness.

So don’t bloody well believe that it did. Even in science fiction there has to be an explanation for such a large cosmic event that had absolutely nothing to do with Roman Jewish crucifixion theater.

Jesus did not lay down to rest in the tomb. This you can also understand, what is real, what can be real, what might the writer be trying to reveal.

And they all, the gospels, reveal that Jesus spent only a short time on the cross and did not go directly to his grave.

If he did then, we wouldn’t have a chance with the next and last chapter with Luke. Till we get to Acts.


chapter 24

It won’t be easy shutting down religion and plunder capitalism. It isn’t anyone’s decision. There is no real authority to declare how everyone should be. It’s a thing we must figure on our own.

And it would happen really fast.

If we could slow down.

And this is not a new revelation from your narrator. It is how it is.

We are the pigs possessed by demons.

Believing if we don’t grab it all it might be gone.

It will be gone if we don’t stop grabbing it all and turning it into poisons and money.

When we were few and lived on a relatively much bigger planet, it didn’t matter how we conducted ourselves.

Now that we are many, it is required of the species. To adapt.

The women go to the tomb. Luke skipped the earthquakes and Roman guards. Which is good of him. And he has two men instead of one waiting to tell more than two women that Jesus wasn’t there. Mary Magdalene, his woman and Mary the mother of James. James is the brother of Jesus, less we forget. Joanna is mentioned again. I like that. But it is not relevant. She was likely a lover of Mary and Jesus.

“She was what.”

They bowed full of fear.

This tells us a great deal about the reality of the times. We now find it stupid to bow to other humans no matter how much money they have. We understand that it is a silly immature primate game.

I don’t mean to criticize the ritual of bowing slightly to one another. This is simply a friendly gesture. It shows that both are willing to expose their modesty.

Though Luke hams the chapter up to make it look more spectacular than it is, it is clear that Jesus was still alive. Holes in his hands and feet but alive.

vs. 39: “... Feel me ...” EQ.

That’s a good one. Learn it. Memorize it.

Then in verse 41: ... “Have you anything here to eat?” EQ.

Beautiful. Brilliant. Jesus, the man who made eating a celebration, like one should, stands before the bewildered human beings who believe him to be dead. Though he had told them many times that he would not be.

And he says to feel him and feed him.

They had, the Jews and Romans, teachers and scholars, pulled off one of the most talked about and fought about theaters of written history.

“Or some Jews and Greeks wrote one of the most popular theater pieces in history.”

Jesus went away. Not in a cloud or space ship. He had simply had enough and wanted to be with his woman and children. He either went east of west. It is not relevant. He was finished his work in the land of eternal war.


john chapters 01 - 03