steve howard's update of the new testament
BARBARALBA BIBLE

THE NEW NEW TESTAMENT

The Gospel According to LUKE

 

chapter 13

Luke tells us Pilate killed some Galilean’s while they were making bloody animal sacrifices to the God of fire. Moses ritual. Ape madness. And a tower fell down. Killed those in it.

And Jesus said that these two events don’t mean they were sinners more than someone else. Luke gives a different meaning than that of the last two writings of this antidote. He would have us wonder if all the sinners can await such an end where as what I’m certain the meaning in the Greek might suggest: are you bloody stupid. If a tower falls it means either the builders had built it wrong or Silversnake had a demolition team pull it down. Those inside were simply in the wrong place at a bad time. If there were such thing as poetic justice, which only happens in fiction, those cutting cost in construction and the Silversnakes of the world, the demented criminals, would burn forever in hell. Alas, there is no such place and no God to send anyone there. So the Silversnakes get rich on insurance swindles and the construction tycoons get rich building without following specifications.

Another book, one of many, that illustrates this madness of believing the almighty authority punishes the sinner is ‘Logan’s Run’. And in this story there was a governing force not so unlike when Jesus came for a visit 2000 years ago. In fact, the writer had obviously read the bible.

In the story one could be instantly incinerated for any thoughts not conducive to the regime.

Everyone lived in fear. And the people believed that people were dying because they had anti-system thoughts. Bad people. Do not think any bad thoughts or step out of line. Or you will be vaporized.

That is the Law of Moses that Jesus, and many others, figured out. And attempted to fight against.

It was simply random. Rule with terror. Cut everyone down who speaks against the state or Kingdom. And when that ain’t enough. Kill whoever, whenever. Publicly. Rule with fear.

And as brutal as it may sound, it is how it was done and still is. In the kingdom that robbed us of heaven.

Unfortunately, those in the position of authority, the ruling class, are myopic insane primates. Pathologic murderers. Mad from gold fever. Still.

There has been a little improvement in Europe the last few decades but, less we forget, at the cost of many other now very poor countries. And rivers of blood.

And this is still our main problem. Tyrants still rule, rape, murder and plunder. Leaving a wake of poverty, poison and death. And force feed the masses fear and lies.

In case you haven’t noticed.

The Empire of America also uses this scary mask. In God we trust. They proclaim. May God protect us and kill the enemy. And they use the name of Jesus Christ, in whom they have no understanding for Jesus Christ was the King who rejected his birthright of the kingdom to find wisdom. To find a way out of tyrant rule. Priests and Lawyers. To lead a way toward the awakening. To end the war against women and children. And they made another lie religion in his name.

“Well, I’m back. And I’m pissed.”

“Thank fuck. I thought you might have given up on the animal’s revolution.”

“Never. Timing is important. It is not for me to choose. I am but the humble messenger. The animals have chosen the time. The beast is rising. Our age has come. The ruling class will be last.”

Luke throws in a crippled woman of 18 years on the Sabbath. A mustard seed, some yeast and get on it through the narrow door before it’s too late. And the door is locked.

If we want this updated it wouldn’t be too hard.

Quit chasing gold, you stupid greedy monkeys. And invest in Life. Knowledge and wisdom.

Let us be aware that we are here. What we do is now. And our children’s children want paradise. Not a toxic wasteland. For Christ’s sake.

Take down the crosses.

Turn off the war machine. Turn off the mineral oil. Decentralize. Close the giant corporations. Slam on the brakes and turn around. Remodel all industries. Stop the holy lies.

Oh, you stupid myopic greedy primates. Do you think Life has given you all it has so that you can destroy it. Life has made us into angels so that we may protect it. Be the caretakers. The gardeners. Become the road to the gods.

And you bloody well better understand it or primates will lose their future. Now. Gods damn you.

Well Herod got upset at all this talk and wanted to kill Jesus. To prove that people should not say things against the evil slugs of hell which have given themselves nice title such as Kings and Queens. Cardinals, priests and pope.

Jesus said. I’ll be driving out demons for the next few days. And prophets must be killed in Jerusalem. That’s the holy tradition to maintain the power of ignorance.

“You can go on ignoring the truth and killing the messiahs of truth until truth opens its deadly jaws and devours you.”


chapter 14

I must think of our preacher in London once again. He often told the Acres of Diamonds story by Russell H. Conwell. In the story, a man had a dream to find diamonds. Before he had heard about diamonds he was not aware they he was a poor man. After he learned of the value of diamonds he left his home to travel the world looking for diamonds and when he finally came home he was visiting the man that had bought his house and on the mantle was a huge diamond.

“Where did you find this.”

“Oh, I picked it up in the back yard. Pretty, ain’t it.”

“Jumping Jesus Christ, it’s the biggest fucking diamond I’ve ever seen.”

“Oh. A diamond. Well ain’t that a gas.”

And it tuned out that the biggest diamond field in the country was under the man’s own feet and he had run away looking to never find what he was searching for.

Not everyone is searching for diamonds, of course. The idea is to understand what you have. For your narrator the story is his story. The religion that he so longed to understand turned out to be the backward of his story. It ended up being the book he was hoping one day to write. A book that would some how matter.

Of course he is assuming that this book matters.

“Well, can we get on with it, now, then.”

“Yes, of course, but now that it’s to this point, I’d like to take the time to enjoy coming slowly to the end.”

“We have other things to do, so get on it.”

“Ideals are dangerous things. Realities are better. They wound, but they’re better.” Quote from Oskar Wilde.

GNB vs. 1: “One Sabbath, Jesus went to eat a meal at the home of one of the leading Pharisees; ...” EQ.

Nice that the people who want him nailed to a cross have him over for a meal. Makes you wonder if the whole thing wasn’t planned from both sides.

They talked stupid dualistic stuff. Basic illogical logic. If a tree falls on the road on the Sabbath is it a sin if it makes a sound. And what if someone takes a chain saw and cuts it up so the priest can drive by to get to the synagogue to preach his sermon about the laws of slaughtering cows and where to splash the blood and if so, why not heal a man with swollen legs in the synagogue on the Sabbath.

Jesus told someone to sit somewhere else. Maybe someone important was coming and would want to sit there. Bitch.

Everyone who humbles himself will be made great.

We are the species with the thick skulls still screaming that we are the rulers of the Jungle. It is a contrived truth that has made us into an arrogant destructive creature. We must humble ourselves before one another and the most shocking for many is the news that we must humble ourselves before the other creatures. We must give up our dictatorship over the rest of life to become part of life again. We gotta abandon our old redundant theater of kings of the jungle. Then we will become truly great. We will find the animal in us again. And we will become the gods.

I love you. Amen.

The feast story again. Where no one wants to come. They have tickets for the theater or have to get their herd of pigs down from the hills. Or they just bought a boat with a hole in it and can only fix it that day because the glue only sets on a new moon and they need to catch fish to pay the interest on the loan that they got from a loan shark back stabbing deceiving prick that took their 12 year old daughter as collateral.

“Enough.”

Well, then the servants went and invited the poor people. And this time they didn’t throw anyone out on the street with their arms and legs tied up. But the master was pissed off at the others for not coming and said they would get no food.

And here we have a piece of the thread we’ve had before.

GNB vs. 27: “Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.” EQ.

Now let us forget the story that Jesus is a person and let us think of him as an idea. A way of perceiving. An icon for awakening from mental slavery. And instead of worshiping the cross that some lying slugs of hell have sold us with fear and violence, pick up our own crosses, chose our own directions and follow our own paths. For the ‘me’ that is us.

Or, as Michael Ende wrote. “You must do what you want.”

And you must understand that this is not a freedom, it is a responsibility. First, to know what it is you want. But most importantly, you must also do it. Wanting without doing is the same as not picking up your own cross and getting on with it.

“You mean like, if I wanna be a guitar player then I gotta play the guitar.”

“Sure.”

Okay, to wrap up this chapter we’ll see if we can spice up the repeated salt parable by substituting fish for salt.

“Fish is good. But if fish looses its fishiness it won’t never be fishy again.”

“But you can throw them on the manure heap. And they aren’t so bad for the soil either.”

“It doesn’t matter. What matters is, if you ain’t deaf then bloody well listen up.”

“A fuckin’ men.”

“A fuckin’ women.”


chapter 15

To really do life, you must let life do you.

Now, Jesus visits what priests like to call the lower class of life. Tax collectors, prostitutes and street musicians. People who do not make their money through robbing the poor and selling them lies.

And Jesus makes it clear that those who need to be saved need his attention. So that’s why he hangs with the low life. Which ain’t true of course. He doesn’t judge like the hypocrites do.

The simple truth is, the class system is a theater. It is a drama that the ruling class has made holy.

And though Jesus has been calling the lawyers and priests the slugs of hell. Or the temple vipers. The writers sell us the idea that now we are looking for lost sheep. That one soul who has strayed from the stage and wandered off into the streets.

If a sheep is lost, the shepherd wants to find it and bring it back to the fold. And when the shepherd does find the sheep he calls his friends and has a party. Kills a sheep and eats it.

Now if a woman misplaces one of her ten silver coins she will also want to throw a party when she finds it. She calls all her friends.

Anyhow, we got the prodigal son story to deal with. The son of a man asked his dad for his inheritance then went away and lived a life of reckless abandonment, loosing his inheritance. Drinking, gambling and sexing prostitutes. Then his money and his friends were all gone and a famine came over the land and he went to work feeding a farmer’s pigs. So then he thinks, bloody hell, my father’s servants live better than this, and he goes back home. Ready to ask for forgiveness.

Well, his father is happy as a pig in shit when he sees his son coming home and welcomes him and has a party for him. Kills a fatted calf.

And the older son is pissed off. Doesn’t want to take part in the party.

“I slave for you my whole life and you don’t make a party for me.”

“Well, because I never lost you and everything I have is yours. Your brother gets a welcome home party because he was lost but now is found. But don’t forget, you are still a rich man, you brother can spend the rest of his life working in a copper mine to pay rent.”


luke chapters 16 - 18