letter from your father 01:
Meine Liebe Tochter:
Ich sagt dir wie ich drauf komme. Du hast mich gefragt ab ich unsers liebe gottin gesehen habe. Und ergenwahn. Wann. Oh. I sehr hofe ich ein bissen English benutzen kann. Meine Engel.
I knew you were my angel when I first saw you. I wasn't certain how or what; it didn't occur to me to wonder. Die Frau kann Mann nur lieben. Noch was neben die Spur. Die frau mit die 'a'. Ich glaube sie ist auch mein tochter.
Naturlich nicht in ekte. So wiet ich weiß hab ich null order 1. Sie oder er. Bald 20. Nicht ganz. Meine hofnung. Doof von mir aber ich hab gern kinder. Von ander leute ist auch gut. Wir sind so wie so eine familie.
Oder Zwei. Them War Lords and their prostitutes. And us evolving angels.
Beginner Gods. Und unser familie Leute sind Meistern von Information in Instinct halten. Was hier ab geht ist die Tier-Engel maching an Auftritt. Und keine kleine.
Angst hab ich oft genug. Engeln hab ich in große minge. So I make it as it comes. And it seems pretty good so far.
Wer weiß. Vielich dinkt deine Mutter ich bin ubergeschnapt. Hat sie recht. Macht auh nichts. Lieg in unsere instinct.
Zurruck to did I see the woman that is my inspiration. No. But I saw her trail. Pretty impressive. Maybe you know already everything. It's funny having so many angels. At you age. Age. Some of it seems ageless. The eternity kind of thing.
And I think it is real. Evolution gives us what we need. And if we chose Eve and follow knowledge, we must listen to the snake. Genesis 3, vs 4: you will not die. EQ
That is the message of Jesus. Rebirth. Born again. You must be born again.
"Why. Goddamn it."
"No. Not why. And Life has blessed us. We die so we can have sex and mutate. It is always us. Life knows that it is. That's us. And that is god qualification."
"No it ain't."
I'm gonna tell you something else. Ich hab ein mal deine Schwester gesehen. Blood sister. And she showed me so much love that her angel glowed and I was more than a little surprised and very pleased.
Soul food. I have been well feed. Tonight I was well feed by family.
My blood family loves me, they just don't hear what I have to say. And tend to annoy me with their stubborn beliefs. They made me what I am. So they should might just as well like it. I tried that tonight. And I felt like I was in heaven. With my family.
Evolution is a wonderful trip.
Mein Ruchen tut weh. Ich brauche eine neue Matratsa. Und the laying of hands on me. Back and shoulders.
Ein Freund und ich haben uber was ist was oft geradet. Manche dinge musten wir vor uns behalten. Wir haben ein ander sofort bekant ohne zu wissen kurtz noch meine Ankunft in der stat der Engelen. City of Angels. When they don't care about the bridges.
Anyhow, wir haben gerechnet das es war fast nicht moglich das wir alle noch kommen von Jesus. Sind nicht. All somehow related. Even had he not had children. And I am convinced he had more than seven from his number 1 love.
We are all physically related. The spirit is not a separate thing from physical reality. Physical reality, however, is made up of atoms which are either all energy and space. Or mostly energy and space. Almost nothing you can put your finger on. Not until energy is set into units with space occupation.
I don't wanna say the material world ain't real. Just that material is energy in space and time. Not everywhere has time. It's all a little silly. But we are getting to see it. And like I tryed to tell my most resent mother. The mother of Jesus. The snake of wisdom. The fool on the cross. Trying to free women from slavery to men and men from slavery to the War Lords and their prostitutes.
The big misconception of the church is that Jesus was pure virgin sinless.
He wasn't. He may have spent much time reading and learning. But he was a sucker for love. And he wasn't too bad at giving back. Not always as free with it as his kids who had the advantage of being children from a Goddess.
Lustig das ich kein talent vor fiction habe. Ich kann nur in ekt denken.
So many frustrated artists have been trying to see and show, take Cannery Row for example, that even if your family is a bunch of drunks, this is heaven and we can love it.
The book, I've heard, was contra band for a while in US of A. Too commie. Low life shouldn't be seen as real humans.
Lucky for me, most of my friends are classic low life. It's a stupid definition. There is nothing different in the high life. I've seen that too. Just the love of shiny things out of gold and silver and artificial value.
"How much is that worth."
"Six million. I only paid two."
"It certainly looks good. Do you ever use it."
"I did once. I don't have no time."
The Low Life took it all. The time to touch and feel.
Ich sags noch mal wie ich drauf komme. Als kind war ich ein natur in Matematic. Spelling immer noch nicht. Meine Opa war auch Math Professor. Hat mir geseigt wie schon es war. Ich hat ein Jahr in die schule 91%, 99% und die dritte term hat ich die moglichkeit 100% zu griegen. Aber ich hab die proofung zu schnell gemacht. Nur zu zeigen wie licht es mir war.
Und die Lehre hats so fort geprooft. And I made 2 stupid mistakes. She showed me and I knew the right answer. I had simply moved too fast.
Slow down, mein kind.
I cryed out in the field at break time. And a boy named Danny came to tell me 97% was also good. I tryed to believe him. But it was the stupid mistakes that had pained me. Had I not known, okay. But stupid mistakes.
Anyhow. I loved music and Architecture. The forms. And in college I fell in love with knowledge and wisdom. With intent to get to the bottom of it. I collected information with mad intent. And started making a habit of writing. My brain is not any different than other brains. Except that I push mine. I don't know if the screaming in my ears. Head. Is part of my obsession. It is in any case an obsession to write a story which is possible.
Like Margaret Atwood or Neil Stevenson.
And my family of Baptists made the Bible my story. And I have been trying to figure that story out all my life. Unaware why I took it so personally.
It isn't only written as a time bomb for me to figure it out. It is a real masterpiece of our time. Not only telling us what to fear and how to act. When one climbs into it and really tears at it. It is a real story about the animal in the cage.
William Blake said, "When the doors of perception were cleansed, man would see things as they truly are, infinite."
Well, the key word is doors. Not door. Doors. One after the other. And there are so many door I can not tell you how many I have cleaned, looked into after seeing my reflection. And then the next door. There is always a door behind the door. But each room become brighter. The sounds more clear. And you learn how to clean doors. And it becomes exciting to find the next door.
Instinct for Comprehension.
The War Lords can't keep us in cages. Our instinct will not allow it. That is why it doesn't matter how big and scary they look. We have the numbers. The fish are with us. And this I know because I have talked, let's say communicated, with the fish.
One day they will analyze this story. Try to make meaning fit. Well good luck to you. The story is always the same.
The messiah is just the messenger. Jesus did not come into the world knowing who or what he was. He spent 30 years working at it. He figured it out. Then he saw it. In astounding clarity.
The kingdom of heaven is at hand. We just gotta reach out and touch it. Without an ism or anity or any other one truth institution. I don't suggest we throw all of what we have away.
One of my sons, or nephew. Is always so bloody serious. And he did something so silly and everyone loved it. And still he mostly was with a long face at the birthday party. They are all so much like my mother's side of the family. My real life dead uncle Bob was there. And at least a little bit, he knew it. And my grandfather and Lord help me, his second wife. They are so much the same it is not possible for me to ignore. They died and went to heaven to be with Jesus. And here we are.
Funny as shit. I hope the crazy people in the hospital real this. I'm certain most are there because they see things that we are told shouldn't be there. But there is 2 billion years of evolution there.
And I think they saw that I saw them last night. And I think last night they saw that I loved them. That was one of those surprises behind one of the doors. And.
One for the psychology student trying to decide if I'm just playing a role to sell a book. Or to sell an idea. And this was a message given to me by my daughter. No. I think grand. No. Whatever. It has much to do with our instinct for love. I told her I didn't think my mother would real any of this. Because it is pur blasphemy.
She might, however. If I was Jesus.
I'll say that another way. Maybe, if I was Jesus, my parents would believe what I tell them. Well let that be a lesson. Listen to what your children tell you.
It shouldn't need to be a
law. It should be logical. And children should be encouraged to want to communicate with us. They are very good mirrors. And any father-son, daughter, mother thing will show you. Parents like to think do what I tell you. Well, they do but not how the parents tell them. How they show them.
I like playing Jesus. It has had grand rewards.
Brother John raged sich auf gerade. Uber der typ von einen meinen tochtern. I won't talk about it. But life certainly is funny. Another thing that is funny is your uncle John.
I don't want people calling me Jesus. It's too dangerous. The name is too long abused. Too many lies and wars for Jesus Christ. The man who instinctively likes peace. Action, sure. But peace.
The kids are pestering uncle John. The unruly kids. John in the old New Testament, just a name, said Jesus sent seven demons out of Mary H. I find that rather funny.
The grand theater. Oh how right William Shakespeare was at times.
Wir schreiben einen neuen. Und die Geschichte. The brutal fairy tale. It is our story. Like most fantasies. Playing with language. Like an animal play fights with its siblings. Playing at meaning until we start creating meaning. The gods creating themselves.
It's a wonderful theater, the big one. The evolution of energy. The becoming of matter. The dawning of life. The will of the gods in our instinct and evolution.
And we waking up to know it is us here in heaven. On a piece of life paradise. And such a seldom state of evolution.
We need to take an active role in protecting life. It is our road to the gods. And it is us that are the gods. The beast angel. And Jesus said on year 13.7 billion. It's fuckin' brilliant.
Write your Father
letter from my daughter 01