chapter 16
Now about the rules of the month of Abib. Slaughter the passover sheep or cow in the assigned holy place. The next seven days eat unleavened bread. Remember Egypt and the punishment the Lord God layed on them.
Do the ritual how and where the Lord your God says. Cook it and eat it.
Then count 7 weeks after the first cutting of the grain. Everyone. Wives, sons and daughters, slaves of both kinds, male and female. All shall rejoice. Because you were fuckin' slaves in Egypt.
After harvest, the feast of Booths for 7 day. Everyone. All classes of humans. 'Sept gentiles. God will bless you. So have only joy.
Three times a year you shall all party and enjoy one another. But don't come to these parties empty handed. Bring the required gifts.
Each tribe, every settlement, will have an authority figure to deal out justice. They don't take bribes. And are to be just.
Don't set up sacred posts or pillars. Cenotaphs. 'Cause the Lord your God hates that shit.
chapter 17
No sacrificing an ox or sheep with any defects. The Lord your God hates that shit.
And again, we remind you, less you forget: don't fuckin' worship other gods, don't bow to the sun, the moon or anything in heaven. The heavens. Like stars and super novas. Black holes.
And if you find someone of you does such wickedness, take the bastard. Or cunt. And stone the bitch. The rat who sold the fucker out gets to throw the first stone. Then everyone can pelt the bugger till he's hamburger.
'Cause we gotta stay civilized at all cost. Even the life of the planet. Order and obedience over all. For ever.
If you can't decide if someone needs to get stoned, take it to the priest court. That's a Levite in case you don't remember. Like Moses' 2nd family. His first being, less we forget, since almost never mentioned. His father and grandfather, the Pharaoh. And his mom, the daughter of his dad and granddad. And everyone else in the Castles and palaces where he grew up training in military tactics and pyrotechnics.
And yes, this is not a joke. No one jokes about fuckin' holy books and holy tyrants.
Or they get kilt.
And the reason for all this killing, of course, has nothing to do with, well, anything. But obedience.
Quote: vs. 13: ... all the people will hear and be afraid and will not act presumptuously again.
End Quote.
The tried and tested by nations around the planet. The grand logic of tyranny.
If you don't do what you are told. If you disobey or speak against the sacred laws of the rich rulers. The tyrants.
You will be put to death. Or something worse.
For ever. And still this system is being used to keep us from acting out. To obey the large corporations that tell us what weapons to buy, which people to shoot to protect other corporate interests.
And the Lord your God says: Quote vs. 15: ... you shall be free to set a king over yourself, one chosen by the Lord your God. End Quote.
Then the rules about who a King can be. Ironically, but I won't tell you of King David or Solomon yet, he shall
not have many horses or wives. Too much silver or gold. To excess.
Less his heart go astray.
Now if you are a preacher, preach about this.
Because this is one of the most real things Moses says. And it must have been a mistake or a mind terrorist stuck it in there, like the last line of Judges.
We call it the American dream. See it on MTV. The fucker with the most silver, gold, bitches and slaves is always sold to us as a fuckin' King. Every Fransiskanner becomes a land stealing gold and silver collector.
Because something is fuckin' not well with us and our need to power.
Now I must wonder of Nietzsche. Who was much more clever than Moses.
Any whore. The King is to read the holy scripture, at that time, this was near the end of it. The Torah. A book of war and genocide. Law. And he will obey every word. And kill anyone who doesn't.
This would all be very embarrassing to have to explain to an alien.
"Why do these dead soldiers carry this book of war."
"It's a long story."
"Write it. I'll be back."
chapter 18
And Moses reminds everyone that the Levites live from taxes and offerings and have no land. Other than their town with the half kilometer. It was a kilometer, no. A cubit is about 468 mm.
Whatever. It's just a religious book of tyranny.
He lists off what people gotta bring. What part of the animal, grains, wine, oil, wool. Laws to obey forever.
And if a Levite goes anywhere, he is always to be treated as a Levite and gets his stuff and food.
And again, when you invade the land you get from me, don't do whatever they did. No adapting your culture. Keep it simple. Don't burn your children like they do. No deals with augurs, soothsayers, diviners, sorcerers, witches, though the word hadn't been invented yet. Hamburger wasn't either.
But you should know that already.
Don't talk to the dead. Or spirits. Or ghosts.
Follow only me.
The Lord your God will raise up a prophet, and I bet ya it'll be Josh. 'Cause you said you rather talk to a person than a blazing fire that might just consume you. And be dead.
And if a prophet comes along and says anything that contradicts my rules, laws and rituals, kill him. And if he says an oracle and it don't come true, well, he ain't mine. He's a fake. They weren't my words.
chapters 19 - 21
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