A short note to my readers: If you don't believe a holy writing is holy, you will, like I do, laugh at what seems a tragic comedy of tyranny. Most of it is not true. What is true is how things were. Brutal. A story of random references drawn from the knowledge of the writers.

The writers had to deal with censorship and most importantly, they were commissioned to write.

For those who believe any one book can be made holy, well, only with a tyrannical dictatorship like Moses and his many replicas. The Bible, bibles are the first Hollywood. Public entertainment to scare obedience to whatever laws of the time.

Stop being a stupid consumer. And wake up.

chapter 01

Census time.

2 years two months after leaving Egypt, which is historically incorrect, they may have been slaves in Babylon. Someone, anyway.

So there are, like with the mormons and eggs in America, twelve over fathers.

Joseph, the first son from his dad's favorite wife, eleventh from dad, had two head sons.

I forget who is missing. The Levites are the chosen of the chosen race. The animals on the farm more equal. War Pigs.

So, anyway, each son had anywhere from 32,000 to 63,000 males over age 20 who could bare arms. Sharpened bones to slice open the inevitable enemy. The non-chosen races of the world.

12 ancestral houses listed by names we still call our kids. And their 603,550 soldiers. Not even China has that many. Or do they.

Quote: vs. 49 Do not on any account enroll the tribe of Levi or take a census of them with the Israelites.

End Quote.

Only the Levites were holy enough to take care of the holy tent of Blood sacrifice. Anyone not Levite who got close to the tent was put to death.

Chapter 2

So every troop made a flag and a banner of whatever and camped at a distance from the bloody holy tent.

The names and numbers ar listed and who is to camp where. North 3, East 3, South 3, West 3 troops.

And that is how they marched. Unless they weren't going to war, then the other couple million came along.

Chapter 3

Now for the line of the high priests, Aaron and Moses. At the time with the Lord on Mount Sinai. Aaron had four sons, Moses, the Lord, killed two. Moses said 'cause they uses the wrong incense. But more to show his power. Make Aaron know who was boss. The other two sons were likely really sons of Moses from Aaron's wife. Just speculating, of course.

That's how tyrants are. My sperm is God.

The tribe of Levi got to serve Aaron. Aaron the priest. So the Levites were assigned to Aaron and his sons. To furnish the holy tent. Aaron and his sons were to be the priests and do priestly things and any outsider who had a problem with that would be cut down by the sword of God's justice.

In similar rulers of the time, like the fellow I mistakenly gave attributes to a book or two ago, Moloch or someone, asked for human sacrifice. The first born. So really, Moses and God and the Lord were being comparatively fair by making the Levites the personal servants of the priests in exchange for the first born of all Israel.

So no wonder the Jews didn't buy the Jesus one man on a cross deal. They were used to big transactions.

Okay, I am commenting too much but Numbers is tedious otherwise. A trick to keep people from reading the holy bull shit.

But we will not give up our quest for the truth. For the road is entertaining.

So it came to pass that Levites censuses themselves for God. Or the Lord. God is gone again. Maybe he don't like counting. And listing names of a family of wandering soldiers.

Kohath, Amram, Mahli and Mushi and so many others. From one month up. Males. Fuck the women. 7,500.

They had their duties spelled out, who ties what part of the tent.

Oh and the clan of Amranites, Hebronites, Uzzielites another 8.600. Doing the sanctuary. Lamp stands, alters and other shiny stuff for official doing of things. Like eating.

And fucking.

Fuck. The Mahlites too, 6,200. Planks and posts and furniture.

That made 22,000 to look after the holy tent. And anyone not a Levite what didn't like it would be put to death.

Then they counted the first born of the Israelites. And that number was 22,273. So pretty fair deal. Except Levites are way cooler.

For the 273 extra first borns, a tax of five shekels per head. Money for Aaron and his sons. Redemption money. So Moses took the 1,365 sanctuary shekels. And gave it to Aaron and sons 'cause the Lord said. So.


chapters 04 - 06