chapter 01

We get off to a slow start in Leviticus. Our top Levite Aaron is in charge of the barbeque for the Lord, he has to wear his heavy clown suit, slaughter animals and prepare the food for Lord Moses. The Lord explains the barbecue rituals once again. How to slaughter the various creatures.

Vs. 4: He shall lay his hand upon the head of the burnt offering … 5. The bull shall be slaughtered before the Lord; … the priests shall offer the blood…EQ.

And where the blood has to be thrown. The horns of the alter for certain on account this is holy. Washing methods are repeated. Burning regulations are also repeated.

Sheep had slightly different blood throwing and burning than a cow and a bird was different again.

A bird gotta have its head pinched off. And the whole thing is burnt. The Lord liked having birds killed before him and burnt on the holy fire on the holy alter. It is most holy.

All this burning served two purposes. The Lord loved the smell of burning animals. Napalm. Blood. Death. And if you burnt what you didn't eat, you wouldn't have as many wild dogs and screeching vultures ripping up your fly infested camp.

Everyone likes a nice fire.


chapter 02

For the other food groups, for a priest cannot live by meat alone, there were rules and standards and methods of preparation. To keep eating a holy event, burn a bit of everything brought by the Lord’s servants. The obedient multitude.

Man. I, your ever-humble narrator, can see the temptation to be Moses. Unless you are aware of love. Aware of evolution. Aware of the future of the gods. Aware that there is also woman. The rest of life. But that aside. Fuck. He was a God of luxury and decadence. Every one loathed him but what the fuck. He could rape who ever whenever he wanted. He was the Lord God. He could kill them and fuck them dead.

Maybe he didn't.

Let’s not speculate, let’s remember this: Don't burn any of the honey. There isn't enough to waist.

Let’s question the actions of these primates since we have a little time before anything spectacular happens in this story. Leviticus contains many basic rules of conduct that don’t, or at least shouldn’t, apply to us, the somewhat enlightened primates, anymore.

One thing we could note is the importance of the fire. It was always burning. The cloud of smoke was a symbol for the primates. At night they could see the fire in it. The fire received a portion of all their food, except honey. In reverence to the Lord, perhaps. But, take a look at a few hundred thousand years of the primate’s history. And it is clear that there is a reverence to fire.

Simply put. Fire worship. Very understandable.

It wasn’t as simple as that for the Israelites, of course, there was the cattle horns and thunder and Moses with his clown priests. But fire greatly changed the holy primate’s life. It changed the diet in a big way. That change the variety of nutrition the primates ate. They grew stronger and grew a bigger brain. It accelerated the primates’ evolution in many ways. Including the evolution of language and technology. The fire worshippers took over the bloody world.

To date, we are the first and only animal to embrace fire. Fire has made us what we are. Without it, without our love for it, we likely would have remained a very insignificant creature on this planet.

Instead, with it, we are on our way to becoming the gods that will venture from their home planet to take life to who knows how much of the rest of the universe.


chapter 03

More splashing of blood on the holy alter and burning of animal parts and fat on the fire of the holy horned alter. A cloud by day and a fire by night.

Making that pleasing burning smell to the Lord.

Salt. Don't forget to include salt with offerings. Not everything was turned to smoke. Much of it was eaten.

Vs. 3: as an offering by fire, to the Lord, EQ.

Vs. 5: Aaron’s sons shall turn these into smoke on the alter, with the burnt offering which is upon the wood that is on the fire, as an offering by fire, of pleasing odor to the Lord. EQ.

Vs. 9: as an offering by fire, to the Lord. EQ.

Vs. 11: as an offering by fire, to the Lord. EQ.

Vs. 14: as an offering by fire, to the Lord. EQ.

Vs. 16: as offering by fire, of pleasing odor.
All fat is the Lord’s. 17. It is law for all time throughout the ages in all your settlements: you must not eat any fat or any blood. EQ.

All fat is the Lord’s and it is to be burnt on the fire.



chapters 04 - 06